Jealousy
By Vallwrites
~
I glance around the town I'm walking through with a sorrowful and angry expression taking over.
I felt so jealous I was sure my face would turn green.
I see the father who's laughing with his daughter,
he's picking her up,
rubbing his nose against hers,
using her teddy as a puppet,
doing everything in his power to make her happy.
I can't help but wonder:
why not me?
Why couldn't my father love me like that?
What did I do wrong to deserve his cruel punishment instead of his love?
He always said it was my fault,
told me he hated me for good reason.
But I look at these other fathers
and I see the way they let go of their anger
because they don't want to hurt their daughters.
They grow patients,
they learn how to bring up a child properly
so it won't get hurt or broken along the way.
But my father didn't care about that.
He never cared to learn.
In his eyes,
it would always be my fault.
I was just simply never good enough
for him.
All I have ever wanted
was the type of bond that I'm seeing between that girl and her father.
I crave it,
but I'll never have it.
It's not fair,
but nothing is ever fair.
01.09.2022
