Justice or Destiny

Part_23

Every passing day I saw her different side. She was all rounder. Grades excellent, always smiling, strong, confident. The day I saw her in library, doing volunteer job my respect increased for her. I was never library person but to see one glimpse of her, I went every day in library. I always kept grumpy face on because I didn't want to make my siblings or class fellows to be doubtful.

One day there were Sameer and Aanya also with me. There were no other students. Nandni was almost free. Aanya waved hand at her and she came towards our table. Whole time she was there, I didn't look up from my book. But I was fully aware of her each and every move. I wanted to just keep staring at her more than I wanted anything else. I felt angry when she talked to Sameer also. She talked to both but she didn't even notice my presence.

Shutting my book with loud thud I stood up and left library. I know I behaved little childish but what she thinks of herself. She wanted to show attitude then I will handle her exactly the same way she behaved around me. Then months were passing like days and I started getting bitter and angry. Now she was becoming closer to Sameer and Aanya. She always gave him best smile. If he would be sick she will come specially to visit him.

It wasn't only her who was getting so attached to him, infect Sameer also started chanting about her day and night. The more he talked about her the more I felt craving. I don't know at whom I was angry. At myself, at my brother or at her. She never spare a single gaze towards me but she could find Sameer into crowd of hundreds of students. My existence never mattered to her.

Then one day I had fight with a boy who was talking all stupid things about her. But neither that boy knew why he got my punches nor she was aware why my inner monster was awaken. But that day I saw hatred into her eyes. That look on her face broken my heart. After that day in her eyes I was just a problem maker, spoiled rich and cold-blooded brute. The boy from whom any good girl should miles away. After that in my presence she never came in our group of cousins. She started avoiding me.

Though I never showed, but she affected me. She made me angry, she made me vulnerable, she made me helpless, and mostly she made me see my own self as a worst person in this whole world. Who didn't deserve a girl like her. At that time Elina was my class fellow and just a good friend.

I already wasn't able to handle that battle between my heart and mind when I came to know most horrible thing. Sameer told me that he loves her. He was hundred percent sure that even she also loves him. His confession twisted like a knife into my heart and my soul. May be I wasn't good enough for her. So I just let her go. That night I broke my own promise I made after my mother's death. I promised that I would never touch alcohol but that night I went at club and drank whole night.

I found Elina was also there. I wasn't into my proper senses. I wanted to forget about her. I wanted to prove that her presence didn't matter in my life. I didn't need her. If not her then there were thousands girl who were dying to be with me. So locking away all the emotions, that night I slept with Elina for the first time.

Next day there was a shadow of guilt darkening over my heart. It made me angry at myself and mostly at Nandni. From that day I knew she have that power to change me. To destroy me. She could be my end. Her mere presence provoked me to do things I never thought I would do ever in my life. I drank and slept with a girl. I loved my father most in this world but at the end he snatched every happiness from me. And now she was going to next person who could be reason of my devastation.

I thought Elina would help me to forget her. I was sure that after sleeping with her, I will forget Nandni but I was wrong. I never forgot. I never got ride of those sick feelings, every time I felt after sleeping with Elina. But I knew one day Elian's love will make me forget Nandni. I would be happy with her and Nandni would be happy with Sameer.