heart trap | beomjun / yeongyu

8

Beomgyu puts his foot down when Yeonjun claims he's going to sleep over. The only two places Yeonjun could sleep in are Beomgyu's bed (not an option) and the couch (which would just make Beomgyu feel guilty).

He must emanate a menacing aura through all his frustration because Yeonjun backs down surprisingly quickly, under the condition that Beomgyu texts him every hour to tell him how he is.

Admittedly, his head isn't any better later in the night. If anything, it gets worse. It's the kind of headache where the best solution is to crawl into bed with the lights off and close your eyes, so that's what he does. As boring as it is, he does want to get better, if not only so that everyone will stop worrying over him.

If it happens again, and they find out, he's screwed. And at that point, he'll have to start worrying as well for the sake of his health—albeit what is there to do about it? He can't control his heart. Nobody can, but especially not him.

No matter how much he stands in front of the mirror and yells at his heart for doing its own thing, it doesn't give a shit about what he wants. If it did, it wouldn't go to Yeonjun in the first place. Or anybody, for that matter.

Were getting over Yeonjun a choice, he would pick it in a heartbeat (heh) just to end this whole ordeal and take a load of worries off his back. But like he told Soobin, it's not possible. Besides, most of the time, he likes being in love with Yeonjun. Being around Yeonjun makes him happy; Yeonjun is fun and sweet and nice and he fills Beomgyu's chest with a unique, joyful warmth. It's not as depressing as it sounds.

Beomgyu is a happy person, mostly. Yeah, he gets sad easily, but he gets happy even more easily. It's his heart that hasn't fully understood that idea, not his brain.

He rolls onto his stomach and tangles his legs in the sheets. Sometimes he envisions what his life would be like if he got a real blessing, or at least something that isn't a blatant curse. People who don't have to deal with this shit—that is, everybody but him—don't know how good they have it.

What is it like to fall asleep and not have to worry about one of your best friends finding out you're in love with him while you're asleep?

Good fucking question. A question that he will never find the answer to, because like always, he spends the few coherent minutes he has before passing out yelling in his own mind for his heart to stay in place overnight. It's more of a therapeutic exercise to release some of his irritation than a practical one.

The following morning is filled with stress, but the way Yeonjun stays glued to his side eases some of his anxiety. At the very least, he knows that Yeonjun dating doesn't mean he'll forget about Beomgyu, as shown by the way he abandoned his date for him. Beomgyu's place in his life is set in stone, for better or for worse.

And that should concern him to some level, probably, but Beomgyu is secretly a greedy person, the same as everybody else, and he finds himself smiling to himself over Yeonjun's constant fretting. It's annoying, yes, but this is the same person who chose him over a presumably perfectly good date. Twice.

Complaining too much will bring him bad karma. He doesn't need the universe thinking he doesn't want Yeonjun around at all. Yeonjun loves him, even if it's not in the same way Beomgyu loves Yeonjun. He soaks up every scrap of attention, and there are lots of them. Yeonjun seems incapable of leaving his side.

As they say, there's a bright side to everything. A tiny bright side overshadowed by the massive amount of stress he's under, but still a bright side.

"How long do you think your headache will last for?" Yeonjun asks, for the tenth time that week. He nudges a honey butter chip to Beomgyu's lips, forcing him to chew and swallow before he can respond.