I'm Broken

I'm Broken - Intro (1)

"You awful dog!" I screamed loudly at him. He stopped pacing at once. Maybe I shouldn't be provoking him further but I was mad. Turning around quickly from the deadly stare, I kept thinking about my hatred towards him today. Only ten more seconds and I could have gotten some food. "You greedy mutt! I could've been your friend and gladly shared some. But NO! You had to chase me down the alley before I even grabbed the bag of food."

I feel so pathetic. Now what am I going to do? I can hear my stomach gurgling from hunger pangs and needed a plan fast. Maybe resting for a bit would be ideal because my energy level is completely drained at this point.

There wasn't much else to do right now so I escape into the memories of my life and all the times that I've been broken. Other than Noah, there is not a single soul out there that will claim me. I know this story all too well because this is my own.

I was given up at birth by a mother that was too young when she got pregnant with me. How do I know all this? Well, she had the decency to leave me a letter tucked in my diaper when she left me bundled up on the steps of a police station.

Being raised in orphanages, foster homes...you name, it was tough. Being passed around from family to family killed my self esteem because in my mind, no one wanted me long enough to call me their own. They adopted me like a cute puppy and promised to love and care for me. But like all puppies, the cuteness fades, families get busy and then they pass you on without a second thought or a glance.

The only thing I had was the letter from my mom letting me know that I did belong to someone once. Over the years, someone at least cared enough to put it inside a zip-lock bag for me and I've had it with me ever since. From time to time I would glance at it but the words just hurt too much and I couldn't bear to think about it, even now.

When I was 15, a very nice set of parents came by the foster home and wanted to adopt a girl my age. I was told they had three other children and wanted to make things even. They were nice enough and seemed to genuinely care how I felt about joining their family.

In my experience, older kids never got adopted and I couldn't believe my luck when they picked me. They visited numerous times and I always nodded my head at them because I was speechless and also afraid of saying something wrong causing them to rethink their decision about me. I still didn't believe someone my age was getting adopted, usually everyone picks the cuter, younger kids.

My new parents, Roger and Marge Morrison came to visit me everyday for about a week. They told me about their other biological children, about their home and promised I would be welcomed there. I really didn't care about all the small details because I would have a family soon. But it didn't escape me, never once did any of their children visit. Shouldn't they be curious about a soon to be stranger, slash sister living in their home?

I wasn't sad about leaving my current living situation. No way! This was a day for celebration. Finally a real family! That very last day at the orphanage was a dream come true because stuff like this just doesn't happen to people like me. Leaving a life of nothing to a promised life of love and belonging was surreal in my world. So when Roger and Marge picked me up in their shiny new SUV, it felt like a dream still. The drive wasn't very long and my thoughts were all over the place. Once the car pulled in the circular driveway and stopped there, my jaws literally dropped. The house was huge! There was a water fountain in the middle of the driveway and the house had columns. Columns! Really? WOW! It looked like a miniature version of the White House.

I couldn't believe my eyes or even in my wildest fantasies could have imagined something this grand existing. I get to live here? This must be a dream so I pinched my arm when they weren't looking. Nope, definitely not a dream because that pinch hurt.

Stepping slowly out of the car didn't feel real either until the bottom of my foot hit the brick driveway and I stood there like an idiot unable to move. Marge looked at me and smiled. "Come on dear. I want to show you around the place and then you can get settled in your new room." I don't think I heard her right. "Uh...Um, room? I don't have to sleep on a couch?" Marge chuckled. "Of course not silly. You're room is decorated and ready for you. I kept the colors fairly neutral but you can change it to whatever you like." I love this lady already.

Roger grabbed my duffel bag, my whole life tucked under his right arm and we walked towards the house. Me, I slowed down my pace wanting to absorb how surreal this was. The neighborhood consisted of big, beautiful homes that were well cared for and so much land that you have to drive to go see your neighbor. Amazing is the only word that came to my mind when I walked into my new home. I've never been to a museum ever in my life and now I get to live in one because everything looked expensive and fragile. I kept my hands in my pockets making sure I didn't bump into anything.

Roger broke the silence. "Do you want a snack before you go get settled?" I politely declined because my heart was racing at the thought of having my own space and food was not important right now. We all started walking up the stairs. The house was absolutely beautiful and I couldn't fully describe how I felt right now because this had to be a dream and was tempted to pinch myself again. We passed several doors and Marge pointed them out but I didn't pay much attention because my focus was elsewhere. We walked down the never-ending hallway and stood outside one of the doors which had a massive red bow plastered on it. Marge looked at me and pushed me lightly towards the door because again, I was frozen from shock.

I twisted the knob and walked through the door taking everything in slowly and was immediately overwhelmed at the sight of it all. The walls were light green and there were windows everywhere. The sun was shining high in the afternoon sky, brightening up the room and immediately I felt at home and welcomed for the first time in my life.

There was a beautiful bed straight ahead of me and I walked towards it almost in a trance. It was a four poster canopy bed, dark espresso wood with a cream canopy netting surrounding it. Everything looked so soft and smelled brand new. Slowly, allowing myself to sit down at the edge of the bed I looked up at my new parents crying happy tears for the first time and they wouldn't stop.

Marge got down on her knees and reached out to embrace me with a reassuring hug around my waist. "You're safe here and this is your home now. Don't you ever forget that." I managed to look at both of them and nodded. Rogers eyes were glistening and he quickly looked up at the ceiling. A slow warmth filled my heart.

They finally left me alone so I could rest for a bit before dinner. The opportunity to touch and feel everything around me was necessary. I opened all the drawers, explored the walk-in the closet and again, a dream come true because it was stocked with so much clothing. This was all for me?

I walked to another door and it lead into my own personal bathroom. Will this dream never end...please?

~~

So, you met Ellie briefly. She's been through a lot in her life and things always get worse before they can get better. Hope you give this story a try.

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