is there a second chance? // dnf

fucking grow up

Alex grabs two red bulls and walk over to me. we make our way outside and open our drinks.

"how's the club going?" Alex asks "it's going pretty good. A lot of people are coming around." I tell him.

"that's good. you have anything else we're you work?" he asks "no." i answers "where do you work? or better, do you work?"

"I'm a teacher in a school." he tells me "yeah, where else could you be a teacher?" i laugh. "university?" he says "doesn't they have a professor?"

"i don't know." he says "anyways, what do you teach?" i ask. "Math and English." he tells me "really? that's cool."

"it's kinda annoying. these little devils are annoying." he laughs "i bet they are." i laugh.

"does dream work?" he asks "dream? have you seen him? of course not, he's 27/4 high." i say.
"That's really sad." he says, i look at him.

"that he relapsed. it took him really long to get clean with George and now.. he's there where he was." Alex says.

"it is." i say "but somewhere it's also his own fault. he shouldn't have even gone to that Jack or what his name was."

"yeah. it's also George's fault, George met a new guy meanwhile he was in a relationship with dream." Alex says.

"they both are stupid." i say "they are." he laughs.

"do you think they still feel something for each other?" i ask him "i'm not sure. I mean there is something between them, but what?" he says.

"George and Dave broke up, because he didn't treated him right. since then he didn't date anyone else." he tells me.

"since George and dream broke up, dream didn't date anyone else." i tell him.

"well.." he says

"yeah.."

"do you live with George?" i ask "never!" he laughs "why 'never'?" I laugh. "do you know how lazy he is. all he does is sleep and he can't even iron his shirts."

"he can't what?" i laugh "iron his shirts!" he laughs. "how do you not know how to do that?"
"I've no idea." he laughs.

then we stay in silence, comfortable silence. we are in our thoughts, but together and none says anything.

"do you have to be in the club every day now?" he asks "no, i'm only gonna go to the club this whole week. next week i'll only go when i want to or something happens." i tell him.

"I think i should go now. I've to pick up something at George's place." Alex says "alright, then see you some day." i say.

"yeah, see you." he says with a smile and leaves.

as soon as couldn't see him anymore, i turned around and walked back home.

i walk in and see that Dream is sitting there and watching tv. I just look at him without saying anything.

"can you stop staring?" he says a little annoyed "didn't you want to get clean?" i ask. "isn't it my choice?"

"no, because you don't know when it's enough." i say "i do know." he says "no, you don't."
"i do.", "you don't."

"what's your problem lately?!" he asks as he finally looks over to me "the fact that you can't stay clean!"

"ugh." he makes "don't you understand that you could die any time now?!" i shout. "just fucking shut up already." he says and looks away.

"no!" i say as i walk over, grab him and push him against the couch. "what the fuck do you expect me to do?!" i shout.

"Do you want me to stay quiet and see you destroy yourself with all the shit you take?! do you want me to watch you die and do absolutely nothing!"

"yes, that's exactly what i want you to do." he says as he looks straight into my eyes. my eyes wide and my heart beat stops for a second.

"well i'm not gonna do that.." i say "then you don't have to interfere in my life." Dream says as he removes my hands and slowly walks away.

"are you still asking yourself why George left you?" I say to him, he stops and turns around. "no wonder he left you." i say.

"you can't understand that people are worried about you. he knew that you couldn't stay clean forever, but he wanted to have someone to love. not just for a few years, but forever. something you can't give him, cause you don't have the nuts to get clean."

"you don't know anything about my life." he says. "Of course i do!" i shout "i am the one that drags you home after you threw yourself up! I am the one that checks on you in the middle of the night, to make sure you aren't dead!"

I take a deep breath.

"I am the one that has to watch you throw up blood or anything else. I've to see you destroy yourself. I've to help you!" i shout.

"nobody ever said you've to do that!" Dream shouts.

"but i have to! because you're my Brother and i don't want my Brother to die!" i feel tears in my eyes.

dreams eyes wide a little and he doesn't move.

"fucking grow up." i say before leaving to my room.

:]