Knockout (Gaslight spin-off)

21| Changin'

The next week is close to stress-free as it can be. If I'm not pretending to be a model student, I'm training at the gym or uploading to Instagram in the hopes that it'll boost GymCon's profile. I'll admit that I haven't seen much engagement from my last few posts, but I'm convinced our followers will skyrocket once I fight with Katarina.

Or maybe it's wishful thinking. Perhaps I'm so desperate for the gym to be okay that I can't see the truth, which is that all of this is pointless: not just the Instagram or videos but the fight. The longer I train with Nico, the harder it becomes not to doubt whether or not I can do this or wonder if I'm in over my head. Progress is slow – slower than I'd anticipated – and while channeling my anger helps to motivate me in the ring, I can never seem to control it.

Still, whether it's down to arrogance or stupidity, I'm determined to try. Now that I've semi-mastered the cross-jab combo, Nico and I have moved on to other combos and techniques that complement Coach's footwork. If I can master channeling my anger in the ring, I might stand a chance. Until then, I will keep myself focused.

Friday evening, Daisy sends over the violin instrumental, so I spend the time before the gym editing boxing clips to the soundtrack. It turned out better than I expected, so maybe my technological skills are improving. I forward it to her with a nervous emoji and grin when she sends a heart-eyes emoji back.

Dinner with my mother is as expected. Cody wolfs down his naked burger and sweet potato fries while my mother half-dotes on him, and half-checks her phone to read the comments on her latest post. I push around the food on my plate, not particularly hungry, and stare at the clock, counting the seconds until my session with Nico.

I don't know why I anticipate our sessions, but I'm certain it has to do with the fact that when I'm around him, I get to be myself. Not the model student or boxer, just the girl in the ring, working on controlling her anger issues. Even though he hasn't said as much, something tells me he understands that better than anyone.

"So," she says, turning to face me, "what are your plans for this evening, Cass?"

"Same as always. I'm going to the gym."

She sighs. "Don't you think you're spending a little too much time at that gym?"

I forgot to bring down my notebook for the first time in forever. "What would your rather I do?"

"It's Friday night," she says. "You could be doing anything, Cassandra. Isn't there a party or something to go to? Friends to see? And I don't mean Daisy."

"Parties aren't really my thing. What's wrong with Daisy?"

But I already know what's wrong with Daisy. To my mother, Daisy isn't pretty or cool or popular enough, and I'm certain deep down, she thinks the same thing about me.

"When I was your age, there wasn't a Friday night where I was sitting around doing nothing," she says. "You're wasting your teen years, Cassie. I don't want you to ever get to my age and be left with regrets. There's nothing worse."

Cody grimaces and puts down his fork. I get to my feet and grab my plate, scraping off my untouched meal and putting it in the dishwasher. "How can it be a waste if I'm doing something I enjoy?"

"I'm not saying quit," she says. "I'm just saying you need to focus on other things too. Why don't you join some extra-curricular clubs at school? Just because you've gotten into CSUN doesn't mean you can sit back for the rest of the year."

The whole going to college thing had been to get her off my back, but that's the thing with my mother. The second you meet one of her expectations, she has another one lined up in its place. "Fine, I'll join the track team," I say, kissing Cody's cheek. "See you later."