₵ⱧɄⱤ₵Ⱨ ₲łⱤⱠ

𝚜𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

"I've always wanted to me a mother, I would walk around the house with pillows and clothes stuffed under my shirts. My doctors told me getting pregnant wasn't in my future, I was devastated and heartbroken. Before the kidnapping, I had just come from an doctors appointment with my husband...we were going to find out that I was pregnant, I already had a gut feeling that a was, but I didn't want to believe it and now, she's gone. Our baby is gone and I feel like it's all of my fault." Jalaiah sniffled, her voice cracked and tears now streamed down her face messing up her makeup.

Farrah handed her the box of tissues had on her desk. "Thank you" jalaiah took a few of the tissues and wiped her tears away, blowing her nose in the process.

Farrah wrote notes in her notebook than looked at Jalaiah, "How did the miscarriage affect your marriage?"

"It brought us closer together"

"that's good, you guys are still taking those baby steps toward initiating physical intercourse, right?"

"yes..we both are initiating, but once it's time to go beyond that I start to pull away and go back into my little hole of self doubt." jalaiah's eyes deviated from her therapist to her acrylic nails, twiddling them.

Farrah took a deep breath, "well we are at the end of today's session. You did good, jalaiah. I look forward to seeing you next week ok."

Jalaiah said her goodbyes to her therapist and walked out of the one story office to her car.

she reflected on the conversation she had with her there's as she drove to her moms house. It's been a minute since they hung out together since she's been back.

"Mommy, I'm here." Jalaiah called out walking further into the townhome her mother brought with her divorce money.

"girl why is you yelling in my got damn house?" Kiki snapped back as her slides clicked down the stairs of her two story home.

"my fault ma, you look pretty." jalaiah smiled hugging her mother.

"thanks girlie, you do too. now where we going?" kiki smiled examining her daughters attire. Laia wore a long sleeve white shirt that she had tied in the front to make into a crop top, medium washed wide leg jeans, with her white bottega veneta flat sandals, and a lime green purse that made the outfit pop.

The ladies walked out of the town home to jalaiah's car. "so how was therapy?" kiki asked putting on her seatbelt.

"it was good, we talked about the miscarriage, i cried a lot." jalaiah spoke, focusing her attention on the road in front of her.

"how was that?" kiki asked carefully of how she worded her questions. If she said anything wrong jalaiah would shut down and not want to talk about it any more after the fact.

"honestly, it was enlightening and it opened my eyes." she nodded smiling. "I didnt realize i held so much stuff in regarding what happened when I was younger." jalaiah said truthfully.

When jalaiah was 9 years old, she was sexually assaulted by a family friend close to her dad. It took her five years to tell her parents about it and her dad was pissed, he wanted to kill the dude.

when jalaiah turned 14 years old, she found out she was pregnant she was overjoyed and scared.
She told her aunt about her pregnancy.

Her aunt told her mom and they took her to get an abortion which they both regretted. Kiki thought she was doing what was best for her daughter so her dad wouldn't find out, but in reality it tore a wedge between the mother-daughter duo.