Vinny and showtime steve stories!!

incorerrct quotes

Tw!! Swearing, mention of sharp objects!!
___________________________________________
Steve: "I have a black belt"

Vinnie: "in what, karate?"

Steve: "no, from Gucci"Humanoid au

____________________________________________

Humanoid au

Store Worker: Mr. Vinnie please come to the front desk?

Vinnie, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Steve and Fylan*

Store Worker: "I believe they belong to you?"

Steve and Fylan, simultaneously: "We got lost :("

Vinnie: "I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-"

——————————————————————

Steve: *Accidentally hits Vinnie in the face*

Steve: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Steve:: "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!"

Vinnie: "What’s wrong with you?!"

———————————————————

Vinnie: "You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works."

  Steve, drinking toast: "Why do you say that?"

————————————————————

Steve: "Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars."

Vinnie: "If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life."

————————————————————

Vinnie: "It’s dark in here"

Steve: "Don’t worry dude I got this"

Steve: *Stomps their feet*

Steve: *Skechers light up*

————————————————————

Steve: 'I'm incredibly fast at math."

Vinnie: "Alright, what's 30x17?"

Steve: "47"

Vinnie: "That's not even close."

Steve: "But it was fast."

_______________________________________

Vinnie, addressing the squad: "And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box."

Steve: "But – that’s just a trash can."

Vinnie: "It sure is!"

___________________________________________

Humanoid au

Steve: "Vinnie and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us"

Dylan: *Sighing* "What did Vinnie do?" 

Steve: "They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... "

Vinnie: "Who wants a steering wheel?"

_______________________________________

Steve, threatening the others with a paintball gun: "Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!"

_______________________________________

Steve: *someone insulted him, now sad boi*

Steve: "Where are you going?"

Vinnie: "To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there"

_______________________________________

Steve: "You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?"

Steve: "Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way."

_______________________________________

Humanoid au

Steve: "Please, I'm begging you to go to a doctor."

Vinnie: "I'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it."

_______________________________________

Steve: "Can you keep a secret?"

Vinnie: "Do you know anything about my life?"

Steve: "No I do not. Good point."

_______________________________________

Steve: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Vinnie: "What did you do?"

Steve: "Nobody died."

Vinnie: "WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!"

_______________________________________

Steve: "I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them."

Vinnie: "This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up."

_________________________________________

Steve: "Change is inedible."

Vinnie: "Don't you mean inevitable?"

Steve, spitting out coins: "No, I did not."

_________________________________________

Double update? Yes. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Bye!