Twin Sized Mattresses [Kindergarten Chatfic]

FUCK IT. I'm doing Incorrect Quotes.

Carla: Yeah, what's his name again?

Felix: ...Uhhh. Fuck, ummm

Carla: Right?

Felix: Fuck, it's right on the tip of my tongue

Felix: He's just like so forgettable

Ted: ...

Cindy's GF: Why would you continue to be with me, if you're just gonna cheat!?

Cindy: I'm not cheating on you!

Cindy's GF: Put that on something.

Cindy: I put it on my cousin over there. I'm not cheating on-

Nugget: Wait- no wh-

Nugget: *Fucking dies*

Cindy: Wow, you're ready gonna die on me.

Carla *internally*: Alright, you're gonna call him baby, call him babe, something cute!

Monty: Oh hey, Carla

Carla: Sup, bro

Carla *internally*: OMG, I'm your brain listen to me!

Lily: *phone dings* Oh his MeeMaw died and that's why he didn't text back

Nugget: So?

Nugget: Was not texting you back gonna bring her back or?

Lily: Bruh

Nugget: And how does Pretty Lily not know that's not the name of his side-chick?

Lily: -_-

Nugget: And didn't Lily say he liked pirates? Don't that sound like a pirate ass name?

Lily: *Phone dings*

Nugget: What did he say?

Lily: Aww, he says he misses talking to her!

Nugget: Tell him to go to hell.

Lily: Nugget-

Nugget: He can talk to her all he wants down there

Lily: Imma text him back

Nugget: Ok ok, and when he text you for sympathy cheeks-

Lily: -for what!?

Nugget: Do not call Nugget.

Cindy: What are you eating?

Carla: Pork rinds

Cindy: Oh I could never-

Carla: -So don't.

Cindy: ...what

Carla: You could never, so don't.

Monty's Mom *calling Jerome*: Hi, Jerome. Was Monty with you last night?

Jerome *over the phone*: Yeah, we went to the liquor store, got some snacks. Then we went back to my place and watched some bad movies.

Monty's Mom: Ok thank you-

Jerome: THEN, he wanted to order some buffalo wings and I said screw that, let's go to buffalo!

Jerome: *continues to drone on*

Monty's Mom: ...

Monty: ...

Jerome: -We stop by this albino unicorn on the way. Whole time I'm in debt to an Italian woman name Barney-

Adrian: *speaking into a megaphone* whoever put their hands on my friends

Adrian: Please come out her so I can peacefully BREAK YOUR LEGS

Monty: Hey dude did you piss in my Brita Filter?

Ozzy: dId YoU pIsS iN mY bRiTa FiLtEr

Monty: ...

Monty: Did you!?

Ozzy: Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Monty: ...No?

Ozzy: Then theres your answer, with your false accusation looking ass

Monty: I literally have video footage of you pissing in my Brita Filter.

Ozzy: Oh that's right I did piss in your Brita Filter

Monty: Why- why the fuck?

Ozzy: To piss you off obviously.

Ozzy *mockingly*: Yeah, that was really hard to figure out -_-