the way i loved you

shower

    "Thanks, sweetie," she says with a smile. She stands up, "You want anything to eat? It's a little early for supper but I can make it."

    "No, it's okay. I'll eat something later," I say, "I think I'm just going to go lay down."

    "You okay?"

    "Yep, just a late night and early morning," and the girl that gives me an excruciating headache each time she breathes.

    "Okay sweetie, tell me when you want anything," I nod and walk up to my room.

    My mom hasn't had the simplest life. She got pregnant when she was eighteen by some college guy while she just graduated high school. When she tried to tell the guy who I guess is my father, that she was pregnant, he had already blocked her and moved schools in a matter of two months after sleeping with her.

    She raised me and still went to business school, worked as an assistant for years, bought our very large house, and is now an extremely successful businesswoman. Also my idol in life.

    If she can do it anyone can.

    I push open the door to my room and flop on my bed. A nap would be really good right about now.

    No, I can't nap, because then I won't sleep tonight, and I have to lifeguard tomorrow morning and-

    Lifeguard.

    Her.

    Fuck.

    Right back to square one.

    I groan and my phone buzzes in my pocket.

Love: Thank you for the coffee Satan. You saved me five dollars.

    I think my jaw is on the ground.

    Holy fuck. She texted me. I didn't even have to do anything first but buy her coffee and she texted me. God, I need therapy.

    Wait what do I say?

    I'm going insane. I don't act like this when I think about girls. I'm never like this. What is this woman doing to me?

Me: You don't need to thank me, Love. Or was this just an excuse to text me?

    Hopefully, I won't be the only one freaking out now. I can see her face going red and her glaring at me through the phone screen. A rush of chills rushes through me.

    My phone buzzes.

   I'm excited.

     This is exciting.

Love: Shut up. Your ego is huge.

    Oh, this is funny.

Me: Not the only thing that's huge.

    I have the humour of a fifth-grade boy.

Love: STOP.

     I smile at the screen and put the phone down on my bed. She makes me laugh, angry, smile, yell, scream, and excited. She hurts my head.

    I pull out my laptop and scroll on it for a few minutes. A picture of Lizzy, Mia and Aria pops up on my feed. It's the three of them sitting in one of their backyards smiling at the screen. I would like to say I looked at all of them but no. I looked at her.

    Her sunglasses are perched on the top of her head pushing her hair back but her light brown curtain bangs hang loosely at the front. Her teeth are straight, white and perfect as ever. Her eyelashes done, cheeks and lips the perfect shade of rosy her eyes deep. God, she's perfect.