+*+* Chaos Is Beautiful +*+*

I Need To Work With What I have

"Very similar."

I knew Tommy hadn't noticed Ranboo was sitting next to me or else he would have run here and pulled me away for something. I gulp. I was playing a risky game.

"Am I the same or similar."

He chuckled slowly. It wasn't a laugh but the sound of it flooded my ears like it was a tsunami. A tsunami made of honey. I was so in love with his laugh.

He isn't love with anything about you.

I internally roll my eyes. I concentrate back to the thing that wasn't as hurtful as myself. Or was he?

I'll answer that later.

He takes a breath and answers.

"Similar. So close but there's something missing."

I knew he was talking about me. Or I should say 'the old me'. I had to know more.

"What?" I keep my answer short so he doesn't notice my voice.

He looked down at the floor with such intensity now. Like he was remembering something painful.

Chaotic.

"He was full of life. Colour. Everything about him was just sweet. He had the most beautiful eyes and his hair was so damn soft." His eyes had shut now. He was trying to picture my face. I knew he was. But he couldn't. It had been too long.

"He loved music. He had a complicated life but he still loved like nothing was wrong. He has a really sweet sister too."

He smiled slightly.

My heart melted. For 2 reasons.

The first one was for the smile he gave. It was genuine. To me it was the best thing ever. I had to last the past 2 and a half years without it and now I had seen it again I felt a bit comforted.

The second reason was because I realised, he was never talking about me. He could be but he didn't mention a lot. And specifically, he said 'He has a really sweet sister.' That wasn't possible in my case.

My sister wasn't here.

My heart hurt now.

His eyes were open now and he looked at me. I think he expected a reply.

"You must really care about this person. Don't you?"

The question was rhetorical. I knew he would say yes.

"Yes. The most special." He took a pause.

Now I knew that he definitely wasn't talking about me, because if he cared he wouldn't have left. He wouldn't have betrayed me like that.

But unexpectedly he added something else. He mumbled it but I still heard it. I don't think he wanted me to but my sharp ears couldn't help it.

"The most special but the one I hate the most too." He whispered. Before I could question anymore it seemed Tommy had finally realised that Ranboo had not gone for a wee but to socialize with the new guy. He jumped out of his seat and speed walked to us on the couch.

"Hello, hello." He spouts out.

"Tubs I think we need to leave soon; don't you think you should pack up?"

I nod and get up. The time was 7:51 and normally I know Tommy took his time coming home. He usually reached around 8:40 in the night.

But usually there wasn't a Ranboo there so I guess today was an exception.

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I pack up my stuff and we head outside. Wilbur and Alex look at us in a weird way. Wilbur shouts out slowly, "Hey, Tom. Finish your story on the day-after."