+*+* Chaos Is Beautiful +*+*

I Need To Work With What I have

Ok to be fair he didn't know it was me.

I wondered why me, myself wasn't freaking out about this. I mean I had done some stuff I couldn't EVER take back and now I'm acting like I was some stranger towards him. I know that if Cara was here, she would start beating the hell out of him. She always had temper issues. But I know if Cara was here, she would expect me and him to still be in love. The one she got to see before she . . .

Moving away.

Wilbur and Ranboo were now engaging in some type of a conversation and Quackity was drinking something that looked like alcohol but I hoped wasn't alcohol. Only once have I ever seen drunk Alex and I never want to see him again.

Tommy was staring at me in the meantime. He walked towards me and looks at me with a solemn face and says, "Listen you can back out of this right now. You don't have to be here. You don't need to join. Just don't."

"No."

I was left in shock. That came out of my mouth. I didn't even think and said it. Why?

Stay. Or you'll regret it. I'll make you.

One of the downsides of have separate thoughts is that they end up being right half the time and they know you better than yourself. Well technically they are yourself so you know yourself but not like you know yourself.

That was confusing.

Tommy was looking at me with his jaw hanging down like the curtains.

Maybe I'll go with my thoughts today.

"No. I'll stay. At least for a while. Just to see."

This shouldn't be how someone reacts to this. I should technically be screaming and mentally breaking down and I should be crying and half dying right now. I have no idea why I was so calm. I knew soon enough all of the shock and tears would flow out soon. I was just really surprised they hadn't escaped the moment I saw him.

Tommy had left my side a while ago to go converse with Ranboo and Wilbur. I knew he didn't want to talk to him but he Had to get used to him anyways.

I had a choice to leave but this band is Tommy's life and his main source of income. So, he couldn't just go quit and even if he did it would be for me. Like, how many times is he going to save me. I don't remember the last time I did something, sacrificed something for him.

SO maybe staying would be making this all up to him.

Yes. Let's keep it like that.

I check the time hoping it was 8 by now. Sure, barely anything has taken place but to me it was one of the biggest moments.

Maybe not biggest. More like 2nd or 3rd.

7:37 pm, it read. I looked outside. Darkness had started to take over the sky.

I take a seat. Bad idea though because as I sat down someone else sat down next to me. Someone I really wanted to avoid right now.

Ranboo looks at me with a short glance then turns his gaze over to the drums. His elbows were resting on his knees and he was spaced out from me. I sat with my hands in my lap. I was picking on my skin while the silence of our atmosphere was deafening at the same time. Alex, Tubbo and Wilbur were at the other side of the room working on something making a few grunts and mumbles once in a while. My breathing was quick and rushed while Ranboo's was slow and dragging. Like he was exhausted.

I remember he had trouble falling asleep.

"You look like someone I know."

I turn my head and pause my observations to look and the tall boy sitting next to me.