+*+* Chaos Is Beautiful +*+*

I Need To Work With What I have

Ok that was too much, but I was ACTUALLY anxious before coming inside.

The scenery was actually absolutely breath – taking though.

I could hear the slow noises of a stream near-by. The sun was setting slightly so the atmosphere was flooded with a soft orange – pink glow. I knew if you walked for a few minutes, you would meet a few shops. Tommy had told me that the first time he had practice here.

I had noticed one thing while going in. It was that there was a black gate near the opposite of the house. It seemed to be some type of field. It was surrounded with a grass hedge. It was pretty tall or I was pretty short.

Too short for anything.

Though it was annoying I couldn't help but agree. I open the gate and with a long shriek I was met with one the prettiest sights.

The vibrant display of flowers covered the ground. Bold purple, soft pink, pastel blue, light lavender and multi-coloured flowers sat right in front of me. There was a faint sound of busy bees rushing around to collect their pollen. The sweet smell of blossomed flowers filled the air. It wasn't too cluttered with flowers and bushes so you could still roam around. The outside was completely blocked unless you came in through the gate.

I knew I had discovered a miracle. I smiled to myself. This wasn't the worst. I looked around. This place was elegant yet messy at the same time. Kind of like Ranboo.

I hear voices outside. I slip through the gate which I now realized was covered in vines and bushes so it wasn't easy to spot. Tommy always mentioned that I was very observant.

I saw Wilbur, Alex (Quackity) and Tommy all out near the small garden they managed to maintain. It wasn't as beautiful as the field of flowers I had previously encountered but it was still pretty.

There were red roses scattered around and violet geraniums. What I really noticed is that there were blue bell buds. Ranboo's favourite. I used to have 4 pots of these because he loved them so much.

Wilbur notices me spacing out as I often do and questions Tommy and me.

"So, guys. What's up with you and Ranboo?"

Tommy answers for both of us.

"Tubbo has some history with him."

It went a bit silent.

What me and him had been wasn't just 'history'. It was a universal miracle. It was the bud of a rose bursting out into bloom. It was a fire so full of love it burned everything it touched. What we had was love. Real love.

I had always thought we would end up with 2 cats and a small apartment near the donut shops so we could eat hot donuts whenever we felt like it. I had also thought we would still be in love with each other but it took just a year to prove me wrong. That my fantasies would stay fantasies.

Maybe Ranboo never felt like this with me but I did. And the least he could have done would have been to explain. Why he did what he did because now I'm ruined.

And the worst part is even if I had a choice to erase this part of my life . . .

I would never do it.

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After a while of small talk outside we headed inside where I noticed Ranboo missing. Funnily enough the moment I thought about him he walked in as if nothing ever happened. As if his ex's best friend wasn't right in front of him. As if his ex was standing in front of him.