Three Strikes [✓]

Resolution

"Oh. Sorry, I was just caught off guard," Kathryn answered, almost embarrassed. She didn't like attention drawn to her various mannerisms, though she should have been used to it by now. Though the distraction was a welcome one, it hurt to think about leaving him behind like she'd done. Still, she hoped maybe in answering his question the subject would be dropped. Regardless, she couldn't help but smile a bit. "We're coming up on eight years this December. Before that we went through fourteen years of dancing around our feelings, if that counts for anything."

Georg nodded slowly, and for a moment she thought he was going to leave it alone, but he seemed interested in making conversation instead. "It must have really hurt to leave Osea when you have someone like that waiting for you back home."

Kathryn hesitated. He should have stayed back in Osea, but he wouldn't let her go alone even if she'd tried. "Actually...he's a fighter pilot, too," she admitted, something the two of them usually kept quiet for the sake of avoiding controversy. "He was one of my wingmen during the last war. I, um...I kind of dragged him with me when we came out here. We weren't really supposed to be deployed."

"I see. You two must care about each other a great deal, to go through a war together," Georg observed, and on some level she wondered what else he might have been thinking at that moment. He almost seemed regretful as he glanced over at Adelaide. Though he didn't seem like he was trying to be rude, he commented, "Then again...it's an incredibly difficult thing to do, knowing you dragged someone you loved into hell."

"Well, he and I know just about everything there is to know about hell," Kathryn said, drawing in a deep breath. It was mainly to set her own doubts aside, knowing that he stepped up because he wanted to help her and even Naomi throughout all of this. But she hated herself for causing him any kind of hurt. "We always end up going through it together. Sometimes I wonder why he doesn't just let go, leave me to face it on my own."

"He's your wingman, isn't he? And your husband," Georg said, offering her a small smile. "That's two different vows he's made to you. Be it on the battlefield or otherwise, he can't really say he loves you if he's willing to break either of them."

"And I can't really say I love him if I'm so willing to put him in harm's way," Kathryn countered softly, feeling all of the guilt over the scenario that had been building up this entire time. She felt awful and pathetic to risk both of their lives for a partially selfish reason. Her insecurities that had followed her for years, worsened only by a war that haunted them, seemed to be coming back full force. Georg gave her a curious look, so she explained. "He wanted to be done with war. And for a while, I did too, but I just...the only thing I knew I could do was fight and fly, and flying made me feel alive. For the longest time after that I had my wings clipped, but then I had this golden opportunity and I– I didn't want a war, I just wanted...I don't know."

The truth was she did know. But she wasn't the type to overshare unless absolutely necessary. Georg was quiet for a minute or two, looking down at where his daughters slept cradled in each arm. For a minute Kathryn was worried she'd said too much despite her best efforts, but at last Georg answered her. "If it makes you feel any better, all I know is how to fight, too. Or create something to fight on my behalf," he told her. "But...we all see where that's gotten me. And the rest of us. I should have given up and retreated long ago, but I didn't. If we make it out of this, I've decided if there's any way I can atone...that's what I'm going to do. Even if I don't know how."

Kathryn thought about his words. She didn't know what to do with herself, and she'd been restless all this time. It had taken years of work for her to feel like she could function like she should, grappling with grief in just about every sense of the word. Hans had been there through it all, between breakdowns and anger issues, he stayed patient and by her side. Even when she gave him the biggest slap in the face by jumping headfirst into a war and throwing her life on the line just to feel like it was worth something. She didn't deserve him.