They Don't Believe In Us

chapter xxii

I never realised his feelings were so deep he’d want to hurt himself because of them, and it made me feel awful that I was supposed to be his best friend and support him yet I only came when it was too late.

If Frank was so angry just because Gerard still wanted to go back to Lindsey – I still wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not, who knows what Lindsey could be feeling right now? I needed to be there for him, as Frank was most definitely not doing a good job at that right now, in fact he was just making it worse, and Mikey couldn’t stop crying his eyes out, which was totally understandable but Gerard needs someone strong to lean on, and I guess I’d be taking the main role for that job. After all it literally broke my heart to see him hurting - I’d do anything to stop his pain.

We arrived back at the Way household, and Gerard finally spoke up.

“I can’t face mom, not now, not like this.” Mikey swung open the door, but Gerard planted his feet to the ground.

“It’s fine, I don’t think anyone’s in.” Alicia stated, after nobody inside reacted to the opening door.

“Okay, okay.” Gerard breathed deeply, and entered the house. Donna and Donald would understand, wouldn’t they? I didn’t know them extremely well, but I always imagined them as such carefree parents.

“Don’t tell mom.” Gerard said as we entered the house, Mikey was about to respond when a female voice cut through our thoughts.

“Don’t tell mom what?” Donna appeared in the door way, and nodded in acknowledgment to both me and Alicia.

She looked towards Mikey, then Gerard, and immediately spotted something was wrong. Her mothering instincts kicked into overload,

“Michael, why have you been crying?” She frantically rushed up to the brothers, “What wrong Gerard? You look pale, and I saw you took the two bottles yesterday, what was that all about? And- oh my god.” Me and Alicia where still stood awkwardly in the door way, but I followed her eyes as she finished her sentence.

She was looking straight at Gerard’s arm, where we had unfortunately rolled up the sleeves to avoid stinging of his incisions. Bad idea.

“Gerard, oh dear god. Gerard, what happened, Mikey? Tell me?” She repeated ‘Oh God’ about ten times, before launching into another round of questions. Both Gerard and Mikey looked completely lost, and I was feeling totally awkward standing there interrupting a family scene, they probably needed to sort this out together properly – not like this.

“Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry,” Gerard choked, glancing into his mother’s eyes.

“B-but Gerard, honey…” Donna looked so lost for words, as did Gerard.

“Mikey, please, tell me what happened?” Donna turned to her youngest son, by now I think that they had forgotten about me and Alicia.

“I’m sorry Gerard, I have to, and she has to know.” Mikey looked so stricken at betraying his brothers trust, but Gerard nodded.

“I’m so sorry mother.” Gerard said plainly, and made a move to walk upstairs cradling his wounds.

He beckoned for us to follow, but Donna interrupted.

“I’m sorry girls, it seems that today is quite a bad time for this family, I believe we should sort it out ourselves first.” I completely understood, so I nodded, but Gerard swiftly interrupted.

“Can they come upstairs for just five minutes? Please.” He stated sadly, Donna wouldn’t even look in his eyes, but she agreed none the less.

 Alicia declined,