Best holidays ever

Chapter Three: The Feels

Everyone cheered and screamed as Billy and his group finished 'testing out' the materials and instruments. And I have to admit, they are amazing and really talented. I didn't even know Billy could play drums. And Jonathan's voice is just harmonious...

- "Thank you everyone. Of those, I think we can take a break, it's already noon. We'll see each other again this afternoon at 3 pm without fail!" - Billy announced still standing on the stage.

Everyone applauded and little by little the crowd dispersed, probably to go eat. I walked near the stage and timidly approached Billy who was talking with his band.

- "Ah Raf! How did you find that?" - Billy asked and all eyes turned to me.

-"You are incredible. I loved it! You are all very talented" -I said sincerely and they all smiled with joy.

- "I can always give you a private concert if you wish!" - Aris, the tall and charming guitarist said and everyone groaned at her remark, almost me too. She only giggled and made a fake expression of shock. My cousin threw a piece of paper at her who continued to laugh.

-"Honestly Aris. You should stop trying to seduce anything that moves!" - Gaby said exasperated by her friend who didn't say anything but only laughed. She looked at me and winked but I ignored her and turned to Billy who was also laughing but then he looked at me and smiled.

-"You are hungry?" - He asked and let the other members chat among themselves. I just glanced at Aris who was laughing with Jonathan while Gaby looked twice as irritated, the two were probably bothering her.

- "Not really but since it's time to eat, it would be good to go eat" - I told him then he nodded.

-"Very well. We're going to eat in a restaurant in town with the gang and we'll finish a few things before going home. Is that okay with you?" - He asked me nicely and I nodded. I have nothing to do at home anyway.

.....................

It was a long but fun day, well I didn't do anything really hard since Billy didn't want me to get tired but I did the minimum and felt a little useful.

And it Could have been perfect if a certain person hadn't been around.

Aris...I don't know why but when we were eating I could feel her gaze piercing right through me and seeing as she was sitting in front of me there was no one else that could be staring at me but when I looked up , she was still teasing Gaby who was sitting next to her. I came to the fact that maybe I was hallucinating.

And then at first I thought she was going to start talking to me and everything but I was wrong, she wisely stayed in her corner, only teasing and talking with the others and I was delighted with that. I don't have much energy to socialize.

All day I just watched them bicker and work together (their dynamic and energy was fun to see) and only opened my mouth when I was asked a question. And sometimes I still felt that look but every time I turned around no one was looking at me... Having cancer makes us hallucinate as I see.

- "Did you have fun today?" - Billy asked me, looking at me for a brief moment as he drove. I nodded and looked up at him.

- "It was cool but your friend Aris is very talkative" - ​​I said while laughing a little because she seemed to know everyone. With every little step we took, people would recognize her, wave at her and greet her, and she would go have a small chat with them before joining us again. And I am telling you, she is so lively that her beaming smile could certainly light up an entire house. Apparently everyone loves her around here and yet according to Billy, she and her family only moved here last year.

-"Hahahaha, Aris is just really outgoing and cool. At first when I first met her, she had this very mysterious air but she's actually very funny and kind" - Billy wiggled his eyebrow and I rolled my eyes . - "Hahaha but Aris is a nice person, I'm sure you two could really get along"

-"I don't prefer. All I want is to enjoy my holidays"

- "Yes, I know I know!"

Good. I'm still looking forward to the festival. The preparations were quite hard so the result should be phenomenal.

.....................

The day after that. I stayed home even though Billy offered to go again. I preferred to stay this time and sit on the beach under an umbrella reading my favorite book.

And that's what I'm doing right now. Many people will find this boring but happiness is relative and this is my happiness. I much prefer to be alone in my corner, enjoying the silence and calm that nature offers me.

Plus today the surfers weren't there. So... I can relax perfectly.

On the other hand, I wonder how are they downtown. According to my cousin, there isn't really much left to do, just a few finishing touches and it will be over so he'll be home early, then tomorrow will be the final checks. Tomorrow morning me and my sister will go early with him and our parents will join us in the afternoon.

Alright, that's for tomorrow. For now I'm going to enjoy my time alone.

I've always liked to be alone but sometimes also, I would have liked a little company. I'm weird like that, and by company I don't mean just any person but I just want - even just one person, it doesn't matter - someone who can understand me, I have a lot of things in my head that I can't express in words and even if I could I don't think anyone would be able to follow them. That's why I never really felt like I belonged anywhere, family, friends... They're there and we laughed but I've never been fulfilled, I was never true to myself and I guess I always followed along to not upset people. There was always something missing. That's why I've always felt empty and dying doesn't scare me that much. But nobody's afraid of dying anyway.

They just don't want to give up what they have here or they are afraid of what will happen after death.

No one knows if heaven and hell exist. I don't really know... I was raised in a very religious family but I never really believed in anything and that is obviously my parents' fault. They are religious, especially my mother, but they are far from being a saint.

As a child I was already asking myself the question, why believe in a deity?

Now given my situation, I know everyone needs to believe in something to be able to move forward. That's all and the divine figures are mainly used to contain humans' stupidity but even that is futile because some themselves use religion as an excuse for their immoral act.

Anyway... Being alone makes me think about a lot of things at the same time. I then continued to read my book in peace, the sound of the waves being my only companion, I did not even notice that my eyes were getting heavy and that as a result I fell asleep with my book above my head.

I don't know how long I stayed there but when I woke up the sun was already high in the sky. It must have been noon or past noon. I don't really know anymore.

I sat up straight and stretched my arms while yawning. It feels good to sleep in the fresh air....

- "Well look who is enjoying her vacation at its max. "
I turned to see my sister on the stairs leading up to the house. - "We're going to eat, come on"

-"I'm coming"

I looked at the sea and the waves for the last time before getting up and sighed for a long time before deciding to go upstairs for lunch.

I hope tomorrow's festival will be unforgettable. It may be my last after all.