"Why are you and mommy screaming?" She asked, laying her head down on my shoulder and tucking her teddy bear between us.
"Everything is okay, we were just talking." I lied, carrying her out of our room and closing the door behind me. "Did you sleep okay?"
"Mhmm." She mumbled, and I felt her nodding her head.
"Okay. Let me get you some breakfast." I said, taking her with me to the kitchen to fix her something to eat. She didn't want to let go of me, and honestly, I didn't want to put her down either. Who knows what's about to happen here.
When I finished making her breakfast, I sat her at the table to eat. I was sitting across from her, watching her eat as Perrie walked in the kitchen on her crutches.
I wanted to cry all over again, and I didn't want my baby to see it, so I got up and went back to our room. My head was spinning with thoughts as I paced the floor. I wanted to scream and punch the wall all at the same time. Then I heard the door open.
"Did you not get enough?" I asked coldly, turning around to look at her.
"What?" She asked.
"There was nothing confusing about that question." I replied.
"Look, Jade—"
"No, you look, Perrie." I said. "This is stupid. And I'm so tired of fighting with you. Stop. I'm seriously begging you. This is exhausting. Please don't make me do this. Please don't make me go."
"That's why I asked for time! I don't want to fight with you either, but right now it's all I have the urge to do!" She yelled.
"It's all you seem to ever have the urge to do." I replied. "All you want to do is fight, and I can't understand why."
"That not true!" She yelled again.
"Stop yelling, you're scaring my daughter." I said through gritted teeth.
"Okay, you're mad..." She sighed.
"Oh, I'm fucking furious." I replied. "I can't believe you."
"I'm not leaving you, Jade!" She yelled again.
"What did I just say?!" I asked, and she lowered her voice.
"I just need a minute. A lot is going on." She sighed.
"Yeah, with me too." I nodded. "Shit like this, married couples go through together."
"Jade, please. If you love me at all—"
"What the fuck?" I asked in disbelief. "Are you really about to say that to me? If I love you at all??"
"I just—"
"You are so fucking toxic." I said, and her eyes widened. "I can't believe I've never seen it before. I've been so blind."
"I am not toxic, Jade." She said, sounding offended.
"You are. You really are. From the very start. You might not know it, or hell, maybe you do and you're playing dumb, but you are." I shook my head.
"Can you just go, please?" She asked, and I just shook my head.
"You know what?" I laughed, despite the tears filling my eyes. "I sure in the hell can because I'm this close to tearing this fucking house to shreds. I'm not going to keep doing this with you."
"Doing what, Jade? I just asked for a fucking minute! Damn!" She yelled.
"When you get your little 'minute', and you've processed whatever it is that you just have to process on your own, leave me the fuck alone." I said, blinking out tears.
