Stuck on the Puzzle - Dragon Age Inquisition - Bull/Cullen

Conditions 2

Bull's expression didn't change, exactly. But it stilled. He was examining Cullen more openly now, and Cullen was aware that underneath his clothing, he was covered in a fine layer of cold sweat. That had no doubt started hours ago. He was lucky to not be horizontal and shivering on his bed. But he was practiced at forcing himself through the episodes, and sometimes just making himself work was enough to keep the worst of it at bay.

'Sure thing,' Bull said. 'You strap on some armour, get that sword of yours, and we'll-'

'Don't do that,' Cullen said, swallowing. 'Don't be obtuse on purpose.'

'Then you'll need to be clearer,' Bull said, his voice a soft rumble. It was even inviting. Perhaps Cullen was just imagining that. Maker, how had he done this with Searidge again? He couldn't even remember.

'I have a cat o' nine upstairs,' Cullen said. 'And I used to have an arrangement with someone before...the Inquisition. I'm not looking for sex. It would only take a few minutes of your time on a semi-frequent basis, once a month maybe. You can strike me on the shoulders and back.'

'I'm not sure what you've heard about me,' Bull said slowly, 'but that's not what I think of, when I think of having a good time.'

It was the lyrium, the lack of. It made Cullen stupid. It made him say things he was doing a perfectly fine job of not saying the rest of the time. His fingers crumpled the pages in his grip and then he forced himself to slowly close the book and take several deep breaths. He wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't take it back. He couldn't claim it was some kind of ploy.

'Whatever you're using it for,' Bull said, interrupting Cullen's thoughts, 'is it the only thing you have to help you?'

Cullen looked up then, startled. Or at least he tried to, the sudden movement made his vision sway, and he clutched the table and breathed through his nose until the room righted. Bull looked concerned now, but perhaps that was Cullen's imagination.

'No,' Cullen said. 'I've not had it to help me at all since the Inquisition began. I don't need it.'

Lies.

'You want to come down to the tavern, talk about this over a beer? My shout.'

'No, thank you,' Cullen said. 'Perhaps you could forget this happened.'

'That wasn't an all or nothing offer,' Bull said. 'It's not like this conversation stops just because you don't want to have it there. We can have it here.'

'I don't want to have a conversation about it,' Cullen said. 'How hard is it to wield the tails twenty, thirty times and then walk away?'

'For me?' Bull said, shrugging. 'Seems pretty hard.'

'It's designed to work in your favour,' Cullen said, staring at him. 'All you have to do is keep my confidence, I manage every other part of the transaction.'

'Transaction,' Bull said quietly. 'Right.'

'Maker's breath, I'm not trying to offend you. It just seems to be a by-product of me opening my mouth after three in the morning. If you-'

'How about you stop talking, and I'll talk a bit instead,' Bull said. Cullen closed his mouth and didn't want to open it again. 'I assume that's how it happened last time? You found someone who would whip you a bit, then walk away?'

Cullen nodded without speaking. The Bull nodded as well, but less in agreement, and more like someone who was staring at a particularly finicky operation on the War Table.

'You ever have a watchword for it?' Bull said.

Cullen shook his head. Then couldn't help the reply. 'To be fair to him, Bull, I never needed it.'