Living in a Mirage

Chapter Twenty Three

"Detachment is not the absence of emotion, it is the process of becoming one with the Oneness that is the Universe. To be detached, is to realize that the fullness of all there is, is too much to react to with just one emotion, one thought, or any bias. To be detached, is to acknowledge all, without owning any of it. To be detached, is to summon forth the whole entirety of understanding, to the fragment that is the void."

― Justin K. McFarlane Beau

* * * * *

It's warm and it's dusk. We are sitting near a bonfire, without a doubt your handwork. The light of the fire reflects on your hair, illuminating your face. Fascinating it was, as everything about you is...

Your gaze moves to my eyes, sparkling in the firelight, happy. Smiling at me, you nudge my shoulder, asking why I am staring at you so much.

"Because I want to," I tell you with a smirk, teasing you and earning a light shove on the same shoulder.

Sighing deeply, I tell you the real reason why I can't take my eyes off you.

"You are beautiful," smiling back at your twinkling eyes, which were shining brighter than stars in the darkest night.

You are here...

You are real...

Suddenly feeling an urgency for your assurance, I ask you.

"Nandini, you are real, right?"

"No, I am just a mirage," I hear you say, but the words said by you are Dr Shah's. The effect is also the same, as always. I feel like my heartbreaking once again. My hopes dying, feeling nothing but pain, I lower my eyes, to the sand beneath my feet. I take a deep breath in, I looked up again at you, but you are not there.

You aren't...

I try to not let the overwhelming feeling of panic that runs through my inner being take over my sense as it always does. I have to find you first...

I stand up, and run directionless, but as far as my eyes can see, you are nowhere.

"She is an illusion."

This time it was Shah's words, in his own voice.

"The kind of life you had, it's natural for your mind to crave someone who understands you, loves you..."

"No, she is real!" I deny it, still looking around for you.

"She is not real, it's high time you realize that."

"NO!" I yell, denying everything. As I look around, at the horizon, it keeps moving forward, closing me in. Something is wrong!

"No!" I whisper, shaking my head, backing away as I feel it hit me. Whiplashed, my head feels heavy. Dizzy, I fall on my knees, helpless.

"Nandini!" I call out your name, needing you as always.

"Please, Nandini, come back." I plead with you.

But, as always, you never listen...

you never do...

Inhaling sharply, Manik woke up from a dream which turned into a nightmare within a second. It always did. No matter what he dreamed, it turned into the same nightmare. Ever since he came from Mumbai, three years ago, every dream of his ended in the same way.