Wij Twee

Chapter 1: April Fools {Senne's POV}

Parties have always been my escape.

Organizing, throwing, attending them... that's where I'd lose myself when I couldn't deal with reality.

For the past few months they had become nothing but a poor excuse for me to drink a lot and end up talking about you to anyone that happened to come near me.

Unlike my close friends that would straight up tell me to wake the fuck up and move on—that I had been dumped and there was no time to waste—Nina could often get me out of my sulking moods without invalidating what I was saying.

Not that she would listen; she'd drag me to the dance-floor, she'd invite me to drink some more and it ended up being effective.

Instead of ruminating about feelings and memories of you, I'd let them go for a while.

I'd become numb as usual but at least I wouldn't feel like a fool.

It took me some time to get that she was interested in me.

I had been blocking those kinds of signs from other girls for so long, ever since we got together or even before that, since I could only think of you.

Yeah, believe it or not, it's true.

It happened on your birthday.

I was at my lowest on that Sunday; she kept me company when I refused to dance and even let me vent about you but nothing could make me feel better that day.

That's when she stopped waiting for me to notice and let it clear she felt something more.

That she wanted to be with me.

I apologized and told her I couldn't.

My friends dissed me for that, especially Luka. He told me to at least think about it and that's what I did.

I thought about it for days til I decided that if she still felt the same way the next time I saw her, I'd give it a chance, too.

Her answer to that was yes, so we hooked up.

The following week some acquaintances of mine saw us together.

It was our third party as more than just friends.

"Are you the girlfriend?" one of the guys half shouted over the deafening (and awful) music the DJ was playing that night. "The girlfriend? You could say that," was her answer. It was supposed to be a joke, she'd tell me later.

But I had already let it become the truth.

What I thought was... It could work.

Maybe that was what I needed.

Frankly, I felt lucky that someone like her would even consider having something serious with someone like me.

I know I wouldn't if I were her, not after listening (mostly unwillingly) to my never-ending monologues about us.

Speaking of which... When I heard them say girlfriend I thought of you, Zoë.

I heard you telling me "Are you never gonna let anyone get close to you again?" and I thought about how you didn't want to be that someone anymore.

You didn't want me anymore, period.

It felt like it would spite you if you knew. That I was following your advice.

It probably wouldn't, I know it's over for you—for real.

Still, it was nice to imagine.

I get that's not a very nice reason to begin dating someone, alright?