Gingerpilot Week 2022

Hurt/Confort (Armitage Hux Needs a Hug)

It was late at night on Yavin 4. The different cirps of animal life surrounded the cabin. Poe was curntly dead to the world, holding what he thought was Armitage in his arms. He was content right up until he heard loud beeps near his head.

"Mmmm.....BB-8, not now it's too early." Poe slured into his pillow, his mind taking a bit to catch up with his body. He must have fallen asleep again because he soon felt the cover's being rolled off of him, BB-8 still chirping at him furiously.

Poe sighed, sitting up and slowly opening his eyes. Something was different. There were three things. One- It was only three in the morning and BB-8 usually only got him up when the sun started to break through the window. Two- What he was holding was not infact Armitage, but further inspection showed it to be a basic pillow. Three- Armitage was knowhere to be seen.

This was the third time this week. BB-8 had never woken him up on any of the other ocasions. Poe's heart sudenly jumped out of his chest. He quickly stumbled out of bed, reasuring BB-8 that it would be ok. He had never quite seen BB-8 this scared before. It was cute how the small droid became so fond of the man.

Poe continued down the stairs and turned into the living room. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the pitch black of the room, but his eyes were finally able to focus on a small figure in the corner of the room.

He walked over to Armitage, taking in his form. He was curmpled into a ball, sitting on the floor. Poe didn't even know how he was able to get his body that small. Poe stayed there standing in front of him for a second before deciding to sit down next to him.

Poe stayed silent, not really knowing if he was wanted. Even after being married to the man for almost a few years, he still felt like Armitage still was holding back on him in some way or another. They mostly just sat there in silence till Poe finially broke the ice. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Was all Armitage responed with. That scared Poe even more that he had said it so liflessly. No emotion. No feelings. Poe only huddled closer to him.

"I'm not going to be mad..........I just want you to talk to me." Poe said quietly. Armitage turned to him slightly, eyes glassed over. "Just go back to bed Poe, this isn't your problem."

"Well it beacme my problem when you married me." Poe said absently. He had meant it as a joke but his voice was still glossed over with sleep, which made him seem more mad and tried then he'd meant it to be. Hux only flinched in response, looking anywhere else but Poe. He tried moving away but Poe was already ahead of him, attaking Armitage with a hug. "You'know I didn't mean it like that Armitage, I love you -"

"I know love, I'm sorry. I promise it's really nothing." Hux intrupted, leaning in closer to Poe. Even after all these years, Armitage still thought he was a burden. "Even if it is nothing, I still want you to talk to me. You trust me right?" Poe asked, hoping he already knew the answer.

"You wouldn't understand." Hux stated, leaning back into Poe despite himself. "Maybe I will. You won't know until you tell me." Poe concluded, trying to stop himself from smiling at the way Armitage rolled his eyes, desprate for an escape. Too bad Poe wouldn't let him run.

Armitage sighed, looking up at the celing. "Today is the day that......Phasma died. Even after all this time of thinking I can move on shes still there. How even after everything she still stuck with me, and yet when she needed me, I wasn't there."

Poe had almost forgotten. It had been almost a decade since it happened. The attack on the Supremacy.

BB-8 rolled over to them, beeping quietly into Hux's side. Poe could tell he was trying to keep it together and failing. "She was like a sister to me. She was the only one I trusted there. It's stupid really. Mourning now after all this time. My father was right."

Poe didn't know exactly to what Hux was refering to with his father and he figured it wasn't good. Poe had only seen Phasma in passing, never actually speaking to her. He had read files about her, but he had also read files about Armitage and only half of the stuff that was in ther was true.

Then it hit him. Armitage never had the time to mourn. Had been forbiden to even show emotion in the Order. Poe now understood.

"Rember a couple of years ago when we were cleaning up one of the Order's Destroyers Dock's and-" Poe stopped, finding it hard to talk about it even now. Armitage looked at him knowingly. He only held out his hand for Poe to take. A sign of trust. An opportunity for vulnerability.

"Snap died because of me. I could have gotten those Tie's off his back but I was too focused on everything else and I left him." Poe continued, trying to steady his breathing. Armitage looked over at him, sad expression on his face. "That's not the same thing."

"Yes it is. That week when I was planning the funeral, who was there for me when I cried? Who did I confine with?" Poe concluded, hoping Armitage would come to the conclusion himself.

"I had never seen you more destroyed as a person. You even refused to fly for a while." Armitage stated, resting his head on top of Poe's. "Yeah. And what did you tell me that whole time?" Poe said knowingly. He could feel Armitage practically curse him outloud even though he remained silent. "That it was......not your fault." Hux finially stated, burrowing into Poe's hair.

"Right. I think why it's taking you so long to mourn because you feel able to now. Your now able to do it. You'll always feel terrible about it and that's ok. Just don't keep yourself from expressing that. I just want you to know that it's ok. I love you no matter what." Poe stated, trying to control his rambling.

"I love you too." Armitage responded, kissing the top of Poe's head. They would get throught this together. Armitage wondered to himself if Phasma would have approved. He smiled to himself, already knowing the answer.