I never knew that one decision. One promise... could lead to possibly the best and worst night of my life. How could I? I was fourteen sitting on a roof with who I thought would be my best friend for life. Who I secretly thought would be my husband...
Now he may not even live...
Back then everything was so simple. So easy. Clean. Not drenched in red.
"We've got to stop the bleeding right now." Doctors and nurses rushed frantically all around me but all I could see was red. "What's gonna happen to my baby," Marrian cried, clutching his bloody jacket. The sound of the gunshots still rang in my head. "Amaris, you need to tell me what happened. Who did what?"
My heart pounded against my chest, the rhythm of it clouding my thoughts. My hands shook still covered in blood. His blood. My dress. A dress that my mom spent hours picking out just two days before, once green, now red. If concentrated hard enough, I could still smell the ketchup and chicken strips from the diner.
"Amaris, sweetie."
I watched the hospital bed roll past me. I saw his deep hazel eyes look back at me. The emotion behind them called to me. The sorrow. The anger. The love. His hand reached out to me but he could barely move it. He couldn't move his hands. He couldn't move his hands. He couldn't move his hands but mine were shuddering. Mine couldn't stop moving.
How was this fair?
I should have been me. I should have been me.
Don't blame yourself. Stop saying sorry. Not everything is your fault.
His voice resonated in my head. My features furrowed in pain. He's said it to me before and I know if he were right here he'd say it again. But's wrong. He's lying. Or maybe he's not. Maybe he doesn't know that this was all my fault.
I did this.
I could've stopped him.
I could've helped him. I could've helped this just like I could've helped my dad. I could've saved them both. But I didn't.
I did this.
This is all my fault.
"She doesn't speak. You won't understand her." My not speaking is what got me into this. I should've told him to stop a long time ago. If I had just stopped being a big baby and opened my damn mouth none of this would've happened.
You was gonna pay me whether you liked it or not. Now we're done.
Alegra's frantic scream still filled the air like the moment was playing all over against in my head. I looked at his face before he drove off. I knew who it was. His face looked so familiar like I'd seen it before. But it was younger, bolder. And he was a little more reckless. Then suddenly it felt like I had seen it so many more times before. Because I had.
Micah, what the hell have you gotten us into?
"Damian, he did this."
