#Wattys2023 Winner: Best Characters Award
❝This was probably what people meant when they said they disappeared into a moment.❞
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College exes Laurine Antoinette "Laurie" Navarro and Simeon Lee Aguirre didn't really expect to meet again. But with...
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I'll go straight to the point. Writing this – Laurie and Lee's story – saved me from limbo.
It easily served as sort of the light at the end of a dark tunnel. Lately kasi, 'yung pagsusulat nito 'yung naging panulak ko-slash-motivation sa buhay. Kung nakinig siguro ako doon sa maliit na boses sa isip ko na ibodega muna 'tong "Definitely Fonder" at unahin muna 'yung mga ganap ko sa labas ng kuwentong 'to. . . nako.
Baka hindi ko nararamdaman 'yung nerbyos, sepanx, tuwa, excitement, saka satisfaction – na kini-crave ng kaluluwa ko – ngayon.
To be honest, this story is far from perfect (by my unattainable standards) but I like it. I love it. I love the story behind it (which stars me as the main character who constantly doubts herself). Gusto ko pa rin 'yung kuwento na 'to kasi hindi siya perfect. I guess ayun din 'yung pinakadahilan – 'yung pagiging imperfect nito.
Imperfections and failures just mean greater rooms to grow into. Mas maraming opportunity para matuto, ganun.
I actually read what I wrote in this book's Foreword. Binasa ko 'yung sinulat ko a year ago and. . . I honestly don't know if I'm no longer that person anymore. I still feel guilty whenever I take a break. Actually, katatapos nga lang ng sem namin nitong first week ng August pero hulaan niyo anong ginawa ko right after.
S'yempre, pagkatapos ng mga obligasyon ko sa acads, rekta sulat ako ng kuwento nina Laurie. Haha.
So, all in all, doon sa pagkakaroon ng guilt kada magpapahinga. . . hindi ko pa rin talaga kaya. I'm still learning but yes, napakalayo pa ng kailangan kong kayurin para maabot 'yung bersyon ng sarili ko na kayang magpahinga nang hindi nagi-guilty o nai-stress.
Anyway, this is the first narrative novel I wrote after two (2) years. 'Yung "Eve" ang huli tapos after nun, puro epistolaries na. And no offense to other epistolary writers but personally. . . hindi ko makuha 'yung satisfaction na gusto kong maramdaman kada makakatapos ako ng epistolary novel. I think that's just my issues talking but yes, I just can't get that feeling of relief (?) after completing an epistolary novel.
So maybe, writing this – "Definitely Fonder" – is a pathetic attempt to replicate that particular sense of calm. Maybe, writing Laurie and Lee is a desperate attempt to feel that slight tug in my gut that tells me that I have succeeded in crafting something passable or enjoyable despite all odds.
And by "odds," I mean my busy life as a 3rd Year college student. By that, kasama na rin siguro 'yung inner battles at inner saboteur na halos dalawang buwan ko ring sinusubukang daganan ng unan, i-suffocate, at ibaon sa limot.
Now, about the story, I think it came to me while I was washing dishes. Katatapos ko lang atang ilapag 'yung plato nun tapos may biglang bumulong na lang sa akin na: "what if sumulat ako ng novel about college exes?"
