Bittersweet (Heejay)

Chapter 9: Crisis?

Heeseung impatiently paced around the apartment, he was really questioning himself. Obviously, for these problems, he should've gone to his parents or someone of his age, shouldn't he?

It was crossed off the list, Heeseung didn't know much about sexuality talks but he knew damn well that it would've been better to not talk to his mother about his little "crush" on Jay. Maybe the crush is not so little to the point where he's blushing just by texting Jay.

It's definitely not little but not big to the point where Heeseung could state that he has fallen in love with Jay, right?

Most definitely not!  Heeseung thought as he paced around the living room,

Then the time came, and the knocking on the door could be heard, Heeseung quickly stopped pacing and basically ran towards the door. He opened the door in a hurry, startling the male outside.

"Woah there, calm down. I didn't think you'd be this impatient." Seokmin chuckled, but Heeseung could hear the nervousness in his voice, "So what's the emergency?" he asked,

"Okay, so you can't tell anyone about this, Hyung. Promise me that," He could see that Seokmin was getting even more confused by the minute, "I never do..." "Just promise me!" The older's eyes slightly widened, "Okay! I promise,"

Heeseung sighed as he sat on his couch, "Okay so, I've never told anyone about this but I have a crush on someone." He looked over to Seokmin who was not understanding anything. "Congratulations...?" the older said unsurely, Heeseung chuckled, "It's someone who I've been hanging out with a lot." "Yunjin?"

Heeseung chuckled again, he knew that was gonna be the answer, "No," He muttered, "Jay," Seokmin slightly frowned, "What?" He asked, "I couldn't hear you, you have to speak up if you need me to help you, kiddo."

"Sorry sorry, I'm just scared." Seokmin's look slightly shifted to a more sympathetic look. "Why? Are you worried she won't like you back? If so-"

"No," Heeseung cut him off, looking away from the older, "It's just that... I'm sort of in love with Jay...?" he muttered, he almost couldn't even understand himself, He was too scared to even know the look Seokmin was giving him.

He hid his face with his palms and thought, Why did I even say I was in love with him? Fuck,

"Heeseung," The male shivered at his name being mentioned. "Listen, I'm not mad nor disappointed at you. Your love life is none of my business but I have a question," Heeseung removed his hands and looked at Seokmin.

 "Why do you sound unsure?" "It's because I don't know either!" he was practically yelling,

"I know people who like the same gender exists but how is that even possible for me!? I've been in love with girls ever since I was a kid, hell even before I met him but ever since I met Jay it's like my whole went upside down and the only thing I can think of is him!" he stated, slightly panting.

"It's dumb to be so... I don't even know how to describe this feeling but this feeling is so fucking dumb, I don't even know what's wrong with me but I know that I can't be in love with him longer, what would the public think? But hey I can't cut off feelings, so yay." Heeseung swallowed dryly as he finished his sentence.

"Heeseung... I'm so sorry you feel like this but sexuality... I can't help you with that because I've never felt how you're feeling... but I might have someone who can help you, someone like you..." Heeseung looked at him and Seokmin panicked,

 "Of course, I'm not calling queer people a different species- but I- uh um..." Seokmin went silent and looked away.

"I'd like to understand but I also don't want to tell anyone about this..." Heeseung sighed and leaned against his couch, "Heeseung, trust me, they would never tell anyone about this even if they have to sell their soul. They know how you feel, trust me on this."