You Don't Hate Me

Me and D

A month had passed since then, and Kari and I still haven't talked. Although I wasn't too lonely because D was there to help me through it. We got to know each other over the month- 4th just didn't feel the same without her but even still, came to an important conclusion.

I was hanging out at his house in his room and we are just talking,

" So what do you think about that venus colony? You think we could save the human race with space exploration?" he asks, leaning back in his desk chair.

I look up from my phone and think about the question,

" I think we wouldn't be human beings anymore, space can change so much about a person and if we start having kids in space then we'd stop being humans and start being something completely different. I think space would mean the end of humanity and the beginning of something new, now?"

" Yeah, I get it. Like, making a new species of people based on the diets and environment they'd grow up in."

I kept staring at my phone, looking at my and Kari's texts. I just couldn't stop looking at the last thing I said to her and what made it worse is that she never tried to text me back.

" So new question." D starts sliding closer to me to make eye contact.

" Okay, what's the question." I smile, flipping my phone over on my lap.

" How long are you gonna ghost, Kari?"

" What?" immediately became defensive.

" You've been looking at your phone for almost an hour, it's been exactly a month since you've talked and I know she was your first and only friend-"

" Until you." Hoping the flattery would end the conversation.

" Yes, until me but you still care for her and I know you want to talk to her. So, what's keeping you from it?"

I take a deep breath, finally giving in to the conversation.

" I don't- she- Look, she lied to me. I can't just forgive her like that- she lied, you know?"

" What did she lie about? I thought you told her about the party and that was it."

" That was it, she lied about being drunk. I apologize for going all the way with her and then she tells me that she pretended to be drunk, just to keep me away from you."

" Wait! You didn't tell me I was involved in this spat." making a flattering face, waiting for me to spill the rest of the tea. I snicker at his silliness and continue to tell him what went down.

" Well, she said that she didn't like that you called me Kim or that we were alone together. The thing is I'm-"

" you're what?" he sits up.

" I- I don't know but I'm just not into you or other...guys. You know?"

" So.. you're gay?"

I hopped up from the bed and started pacing the room, running my fingers through my hair,

" I don't know! I just never found guys attractive like that and I've never had a crush on anyone before. Well except for"

" Kari!?" joining me in my pacing. He was a bit more excited than me but we continued to talk.

" So, you guys had sex because she wanted me? I don't think that makes any sense, Kim. If she wanted me she could've tried something when you left to go to the bathroom."

" What do you mean? She told me that she woke up in your arms and came looking for me?"

" EXACTLY! She woke up in my arms and didn't even look at me. I think she wanted you but thought that you liked me! And all this time you were thinking she wanted me. I feel conflicted, you both thought you wanted me but neither of you did." he giggles and shakes his head, talking back to his seat. I needed to think more so I stood there calculating the probability of D being right.