You Don't Hate Me

Can't bear to forget, cursed to remember

We locked the door behind ourselves when we got to D's room, I took a second to look around but when I looked back Kari was already naked, standing by the bed waiting for me to join her,

" What are you waiting for?" her voice was getting more and more seductive and it was all the motivation I needed. That night we made passionate love to one another and even though I knew in the back of my mind she would come to regret this I would take full advantage of this night. She was willing and so was I.

The morning after we lay naked, curled up to one another. I cracked open my eyes worried I had dreamt the other thing but no, she was still here. I wanted to jump out of bed and dance and sing but I didn't want to wake her so I traced the lines of her face with my eyes, even when she was asleep she was the picture of beauty. I love her. I love her. I-

" Hmm, morning." a hungover Kari said.

" morning." I bit my lip waiting for her to mention last night.

" Why am I naked?" she grunts. I sit up with confusion and a ting of heartbreak.

" What do you mean? You don't remember last night?"

" What happened last night?"

I couldn't believe it. She didn't remember, we made love and she didn't remember. I never thought heartbreak could hurt this bad but I wanted to burn the world down and scream in her face. Please remember something from last night. Please.

" What's the last thing you remember?" trying to get something out of her, maybe even trigger a memory.

" Captain. I was in his arms, did he try something?"

" No- I- he- uh... it wasn't like that. I just-"

" Are you sure it wasn't anything? You haven't stammered like that since we were kids."

" It just feels like there's a lump in my throat and I think I'm going to throw up."

" Oh my God, let's find a bathroom so we don't mess up this guy's floor- oh wait, was he one of the good ones? Cause if not that, have at it anywhere you'd like."

I cracked a small smile, " Nah, he's a nice guy and-" my voice cracked as a tear escaped my eye, I never thought I could feel so weak. " I'm sorry, I-I don't know why I'm crying. Stupid tears, where did you come from." Even in my moments of weakness, I hide from the pain. Kari looked at me with concern and pulled me into an embrace,

" Did he do something to you?" I still don't remember last night.

" No, he didn't do anything. This is something entirely different." I tried to hold back as much as I could but tears still managed to escape me.

" K, why are we both naked?"

" I don't know but we were pretty drunk, so."

" I wasn't. I only had a few sips of wine and at best I was tipsy."

" Then tell me what happened last night. Wait, did I hurt you or something?" she lets me go to look into my eyes. I couldn't bear to tell her. It could ruin everything.

" Yeah, you did but it's okay. I'll get over it, eventually."

" No, it's not okay. I want to make it up to you."

I don't think there was anything she could do to make me feel better but maybe a drive would help calm me down.

" Can we just get out of here? I feel weird being naked in someone else's bed."

" Yeah, let's blow this hot dog stand.'' She started getting dressed and I just stared at the blanket we lay under. She has to have remembered, she's probably ashamed and wants to act like it never happened. My thoughts spilled and the pain only grew,

" Hey, come on. Let's get out of here." she huffs while hoping to get her pants over her voluptuous rear end. Even when I'm upset with her I can't help but admire your essence.

When we walked out I saw D on the couch, I had some words to say so I told Kari to meet me by the car and I'd catch up later. I walk over to him and poked his cheek in an attempt to wake him up,

" hmm? Oh hey, did you sleep well?" she smiled, cracking his eyes open just enough to see me and block out the light at the same time.

" Yeah, I wanted to ask for your number. I liked talking to you last night and I know you'd like to have a friend-"

" Yeah! Yeah, I'd love to talk with you again." he pops up and feels around his pockets to find his phone,

"Um here, tell me your number and I'll add it to my contacts or would you prefer talking over socials?" he looked at me with eager eyes.

" How about I tell you my Instagram, most people don't know my number so it might be best if we just use social media, someone might think we're dating or something."

" oh yeah, well here's my username. I hope to hear from you soon, man."

This guy is too cool to be normal, but I think it'd be great to get a second opinion about the situation with Kari and me.

" Okay, I'll see you later." I started heading for the door, and the happiness of finding a new friend started to dull the pain of Kari's unspoken rejection.

" Bye, drive safe."

" Yep!" I holler, shutting the door behind me.

I started walking towards the car when a strangler popped out of the bushes,

" Hey you, where'd John go?"

" I-I don't know who that is, man."

" What, you don't know john? You should get to know John, he's a riot.'' He stumbled out of the bush and started walking towards me. I picked up the pace trying to outwalk him,

" So you and D man, huh?"

" What?" I stopped and looked at him, ready to knock his block off right then and there.

" Well you stayed the night and you didn't look hungover. You got lucky, right?" His face was genuinely confused, looking at me as if he wanted to congratulate me or something.

" It's not like that. He's my friend."

" right on, right on," he says, letting his arms swing by his side. I nodded and continued to talk to the car, Kari was sitting on the hood.

" Okay, let's go." Unlocking the car door and hopping in without another word. When Kari gets in after me she puts her feet up on the dashboard like she usually does but I couldn't look at her the same, even though I wanted to. How could you not remember, Kari?