MODERN AU || ON HOLD
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Afghan Vet Bucky Barnes lost pieces of his mind and body in the war, and returning to modern day life isn't something that he's found easy. With PTSD that lingers in every corner of his mind, adjusting to life is easier...
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☆☆☆
B U C K Y
AFTER MY phone call with Lucy Monday morning, I started to feel better. That sinking stomach feeling that came with talking to a girl was back, and I remembered the sound of her voice when I answered the phone. I hoped I didn't sound too groggy. It had woken me up, after all.
We'd only talked for ten minutes or so, and I felt stupid thinking about it; for letting it affect me this way. For allowing it to affect me the way that it did. But the sound of her muffled laugh was on repeat all day. And after my rock bottom episode over the weekend, she was directing that laugh to me. Not at me, with me. She was actually laughing with me. I had made her laugh.
It was a feeling I hadn't had in a really, really long time. And I did not know what it was about that mouthy woman. I've only ever had one good conversation with her. And it's affected me like this already. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to spend more time with her.
It was something I was going to find out, though.
Tonight was Friday, and there was a good chance that she would be at O'Connor's again with her friends. They were there last week, and if I thought hard enough about it, I believed I could remember seeing them before. I must've. Steve's seen Natasha around there, so that meant Lucy couldn't have been more than an arm's stretch away from her. Just like I wasn't from Steve.
Suddenly I was more than thankful for agreeing to go out with Steve tonight. When I made the deal, it was only because of the tickets that he'd promised me. I had no idea I would've gotten to talk to Lucy. God, I hoped she would be there.
I felt like a little punk, getting all excited like a teenage boy about to take a girl out for the first time.
It took me over an hour to get ready to go out, something I would take to the grave with me. Not even Steve would know; I couldn't take the torture. I had spent ten minutes just staring into the mirror, trying to decide if I should shave the stubble off or not. Would she like me better with or without it?
Of course, the possibility of her not being there didn't occur to me. It wouldn't. She had to be there. I felt it in my bones, she would be there tonight and I would be able to change her mind about me. I wouldn't be the asshole that she met in that stupid doctor's office or the one who yelled at her last weekend.
I had nearly run out of time; I was supposed to be meeting Steve at eight. I barely had enough time to pick out my outfit for the night. Which ended up being my lucky black jeans, a layered gray shirt, and my leather jacket. I hoped it would be enough to impress her. I didn't have much else.
Now, here I was, late, my nose red from the cold as I jogged down the street to the ever-revolving door. Steve had texted, he was already inside waiting. The heat hit me like a truck and I knew within a few minutes I would be sweating. The bar was pretty full for the time, being that it was still kind of early. I looked around for a second, scanning the room. But she wasn't there yet.
