123, I Love You

Brad

Chapter 20:

Brad

   Lyssy just has a concussion, thank God.

  That's all I've really been doing lately, thanking God. She's alive. She's going to be okay. She's walking and breathing, and she's alive.

   I'm less so. They conducted emergency surgery and took out the glass from my skull, but they said the trauma to my brain will eventually kill me. Eventually is a terrible and vague amount of time, I've realized, but I'm trying to enjoy the time I have left here.

   Lyssy comes everyday. She avoids work. I tell her she should go, but selfishly wish she stays. She comes, and brings Jancy's and visitors. She even tried to bring the cat in but the hospital wouldn't let her.

   I've found that I'm falling asleep quite a lot. Even in the middle of conversations, I'll just drift off only to jog awake moments later. She tells me it's okay, but I can see the pain she tries to hide. I wish I could take her pain for her, even on top of my own. She's trying so hard to be strong, but I think she forgets that it's okay to mourn.

   She crawls into bed with me on rainy days like this and nestles into me. I just hold her, quietly, and run my hands through her hair. My smock will get wet with her tears, but neither of us say anything, afraid it will hurry the ticking clock on my life.

   For now, I just held her together.