+*+* Chaos Is Beautiful +*+*

With Him

I had written this just as I got out of that phase. I wondered if I was good or not and I believed I was useless. But that's not true.

Are you sure abou-

'Cause I'm a fool
I let you down, I let you down
I made waves, and I'm ashamed
This all for you
I let you down, I messed around
I made waves, my mistakes, yeah

While playing the small interval of music I realized I had cut off my thoughts for once. I was proud. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

I know I'm not perfect
And I know you're hurting

I envisioned this was from him to me for some reason. Always hoping he would return. 

You know what ? I'm sick of all this jabbering. I made up my mind. I was going to sing, not make life decisions.

I feel it in any weather
Ghosts in my home
They leave 'cause they can find much better
Lo and behold, I'm on my own
With only myself to blame

I take a breath and go.

'Cause I'm a fool
I let you down, I let you down

As I continued I realized the climax was starting. The build up to the best part of the song. Then, I gulped slightly, was the tricky part. The heavy vocals plus the piano piece. I'm sure you're sick of hearing this but I knew this part as well as the back of my hand. I was just nervous.

Or I should say anxious.

So can't we go back, can't we go back
To when nothing really mattered at all?
So can't we go back, can't we go back? Yeah

The others joins in and now we only have the background vocals as music. Just how I wanted it to be.

I made waves, and I'm ashamed
This all for you
I let you down, I messed around
I made waves, my mistakes

And here we go.

I'm a fool
I let you down, I let you down
I made waves, and I'm ashamed
This all for you
I let you down, I messed around
I made waves, my mistakes, yeah

Now the tricky part. Finishing off.

I made waves
All for you
I let you down

I play out the piano until the song was done. All of us were breathing heavy. No one says anything. the silence is evident. I just don't know whether we are in awkward silence or shocked silence.

But my question was answered when Wilbur said "Please tell me somebody recorded that."

I smile.

________________________________________

"And did you see how pog I was on the guitar there. Like what the hell !" Shouted Tommy in happiness.

Luckily Nikki decided to record our first practice so we had the track. I felt confident. I didn't mess up. My head wad interrupted by Nikki's sweet voice saying "Hey where's our American drummer boy ?"

"He's not here yet Nikki." Wilbur replies. 

"Sad I wanted to meet him today." Said Tommy.

Nikki was quick to reply "Tommy. You have never met him have you ?"

"He replies "No."

Wait. Huh.

Even my thoughts were confused. I turn to look at Tommy who looks at me with a pleading face. Sadly, it was already too late.

"THOMAS SIMONS YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MET HIM YET !" I scream. 

He runs to the opposite side of the room attempting to hide himself while continuously apologizing.

"Tubbo listen I have messaged him once though."

I get more mad. "Messaged ! You mean to say you're gonna introduce me to a freaking stranger who is just as much a stranger to you as he is to me ?"

I was mad. I was taking risks coming here. I couldn't do this with Tommy understanding what the hell is going to happen if anything bad happens to me. 

"I'm sorry. So sorry. You wouldn't have come otherwise."

I pause. Just before I got him that too. He got lucky this time.

I see the other inhabitants of the room staring at us like we were mad men.

I groan in frustration. "Fine. Do we have anything to eat ?" I question. All this socializing has grown me an appetite.

Suddenly the screeching noise of cycle tires are heard through one window followed by a knocking sound. Tommy was in the bathroom. Quackity and Nikki were discussing some editing or something and there was NO way I was opening the door so Wilbur gets up and heads into the weird front corridor to invite this drummer inside.

I take a seat on the colourful sofa.

I took a deep breathe.

Oh no

I didn't know why I did that. That was until something I NEVER EVER thought would happen again happened.

I heard a voice. 

A voice I haven't heard for 2 years.

2 fucking years.

His laugh filled the room. My heart drained the blood out of it. My face paled. My brain stopped working.

My fucking soul left my body.

I suddenly felt warm. I knew he was here. In the room. I turn around and I'm met . . .

with him.

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A/n - Hey guys I actually uploaded somehow I dunno. I have ALOT of holidays now so I think I should be able to upload. Also we have someone new in here. I can't wait. Sorry bout the cliffhanger but I couldn't resist.

Have a lovely day/night/evening ! :D

See you soon and don't forget I love all of you.

P.S SO CLOSE TO 500 READS !!!!!