19. Fuck Mrs Carlson.

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I'm, uh, I'm in heaven? That can't be right? God hates me, he must. The devil is my best friend. There's a vip area saved for me in hell. But then again, if God hates me, then why am I in heaven right now? Well, I'll admit, it's not technically heaven but, it's my version of heaven.

The wind is blowing through my hair, sunglasses shielding my eyes from the suns rays as Thomas and I drive back from our date. Our date? I'm still not used to saying that. Thomas let down the roof on his dads convertible when we started driving and I protested at first but now I have to admit, I love it. I love the feeling of pure freedom that I get when I'm here, Thomas's fingers interlocked with mine as he drives, the wind in our faces and the scenery passing by in a flash as Thomas drives faster.

I thought I'd be scared because I hate it when people drive faster than they're supposed to, but, I trust Thomas with my life. I honestly couldn't tell you why though. Why would I trust a boy who I've only really known for two weeks, with my life? It sounds stupid but, I feel like I can do that with him. After all, the safest I've ever felt is in his arms. God, I sound so cliché, but it's true. My world just feels better with him in it.

We spent a few more hours at the lake and our lips never left the others the whole time. Of course, I made him leave the water with me after about ten minutes because I swear I was gonna get frostbite or pneumonia or something. We lay in each other's arms the rest of the time, admiring everything about one another. After a while, we packed up and began the hike back down to the car. Thomas snickered when we passed the tree that he pinned me up against earlier on and I was surprised he could tell the difference between that tree and the thousand others in that fucking forest.

I'd told him something as spontaneous and risky as that would never happen again, in fact, I'd assured him that I would not fall for his advances again in the way I had earlier. That didn't last long. When we made it back to the car, he shoved me into the backseat and kissed me rougher than he ever had before, trailing kisses down my neck and giving me even more hickeys that made me shiver and moan beneath him.

He was good at making me unravel like that. Too good.

I reluctantly asked him to bring me home, seeing the sheer sadness in his eyes as he nodded his head in agreement. I didn't actually want to go home. All I wanted was for Thomas to take me back to his house and I could sleep in his bed, in his arms. That's all I wanted right now. But, my parents would likely kill me for not coming home on a school night. I contemplated telling them I was staying at Sarah's but I knew that wouldn't work because Sarah's mom and my mom have a tendency to discover our lies quicker than you'd expect.

And there's also the problem of Thomas's parents. I mean, it's not like they'll see me and immediately scream 'oh my God, he's gay!' How could they know that just from looking at me? Oh, and did I mention they're extra homophobic? Yeah, so me making out with their son in his room would probably make them want to murder me. I can almost hear their scolding words, 'you turned our son gay,' 'you're going to hell," ha. Yeah Bitch, I guess I'll see ya there then.

I'd texted Sarah and Lila, telling them that I was fine and that I was with Thomas. I also apologised profusely for leaving in such a rush without saying anything. I knew I'd be receiving yet another lecture from Sarah tomorrow, so I had that to look forward to.

Lila immediately replied, obviously asking for details that I promised to give her tomorrow. Sarah on the other hand, well, I sent her twenty messages and she didn't even open them. She gets like this whenever I don't tell her something because we've been best friends almost our whole lives and we practically tell each other everything. So when I don't tell her something important like this, she tends to give me the cold shoulder. It won't last long though, one time it only lasted ten minutes before she came running back to me.

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