One Shots

Dreaming Again

Mind blowing, hurting my feelings. I deserve to be the one who's blame with them. Dying depression over months. Its been 5 months and now.  Ending my life is the best things to do.

Ending my life for your happiness is my best gift for you...

I shouted, "HOW MANY PAIN IN MY EYES DO I NEED TO CRY!! Just to make you happy." Lower my voice..

She hugs me behind my back "hubby please, I'm sorry, "I sighed then show her my  fake smiles.

"No, it's okay don't you worry, " I feel her hands wrapping on my arms.

"Hubby please, let me explain, "  she whispered while me removing her hands on my arms.

"No more explanation, it's over," I show her my fake smile then walks away from her.

Now, I'm walking alone while crying wanting anyone to cheer me up but I'm alone, all alone.

I shouted, "I hate myself." I let my tears fall down. Until I reach the sea near from our house.

I sat on the shore and watch the beautiful skies.

The skies looks so beautiful and calm contrary to what I'm feeling right now. It's chaos.

After looking at up the sky, I drink the liquor I have with me that I bought at the convenience store before going here.

When I finished drinking, I look at the sea and saw the girl with me awhile ago, walking towards there. She's here, my life is mess already.

I want to leave but I want to drink liquor and calm myself though, so I decided to stay and watch the skies and the sea.

After an hour, Im drank already.
I went towards the sea where she's standing and shout on her.

"You left me alone and now you're here?" I saw her teary eyed.

I touch her cheeks and lean on her. "Im sorry," I left her but she followed me and kiss my lips passionately.

I respond on her kiss after a seconds cut our kiss then push her.

"Leave me instead, its okay. " Before I walked, I whisper,

"Don't leave me ple—

"Bro, wake up you're dreaming again" I opened my eyes and look at them.

"What happen?" I wiped my tears.

"You're shouting and crying it is all about your wife?"I nodded, I'm with her in my dream.

She already died, because of cancer.

Guilt, regret and sorrow are eating me up. I should have listen to her. I should have ask her if she's fine. I shouldn't have pushed her and let her live all alone with our unborn child. I should be there with her and takes care of her while carrying our unborn child.

I laughed and now I'm wanting her and missing her presence. I want her to go back with me and hug me tightly while telling me that everything will be okay, that they're still alive.

"F*ck this life!" I shouted as I closed my eyes.