Ghost - [SEUNGJIN]

4

That if I can't be close to you
I'll settle for the ghost of you
I miss you more than life (more than life)

Tw// faint

—————

Hyunjin held onto Seungmin's hand a week later, as they were sitting at Chan's room, waiting for the leader to review the songs Seungmin had submitted for his next cover.

"I think we should go for something happy, these are all beautiful but...", the older bit his lip. "The company wanted something else." He muttered, shaking his head. "No, do whatever you want to do the most."

Seungmin shook his head, eyes lost somewhere in the room.

"It's fine, I don't really care."

"Seungmin-"

"I said I don't care.", he raised his voice a bit, making Chan's eyes widen. He looked between Seungmin and Hyunjin, not understanding fully but kind of realizing why the taller had insisted on being there with him.

Everyone knew he was the only one that could calm Seungmin down.

The youngest of the three groaned, rubbing his head.

"Can't we just get this over with? Throw them to the couch and chose the one that falls or whatever."

Chan made a pop sound with his mouth, raising his hands.

"Okay, okay. You can go then." He pressed his lips, seeing both of the guys get up.

"You stay here." The youngest stopped Hyunjin.

"Seungmin-"

He whined, stomping one of his feet on the floor.

"Can 't you just leave me alone for one second, Hyunjin?", he turned around, and the taller gulped, knowing that look too well. Chan simply stood back in his chair, not wanting to get between them. "You're always trying to control me!"

The taller's chin fell. "I'm trying to help you!"

Chan furrowed his eyebrows, slowly dropping the papers to the table.

Everyone knew how close Hyunjin and Seungmin were, how much they liked each other's presence. Thought they bickered a lot, the leader had never once seen them fight, and yet they seemed to be used to that situation.

Seungmin scoffed. "When did I ask for your help? I saw the way you tried to fill my plate today."

Hyunjin's eyes widened even more, gulping as he looked between a confused Chan and Seungmin.

Hyunjin wanted them to know. He wanted the other members to be careful around Seungmin, when it came to food, he wanted Minho to stop offering him sweets all the time, wanted Felix to stop asking him why he hadn't been with them at breakfast. He wanted them all to know what was happening so that they could help him the right way, instead of pressuring him.

So part of him was happy about the sudden comment, but what if he hadn't meant to say it? What if it was an accident and he didn't mean to let the leader get any clue?

"Minnie-"

"No. Not today.", he sighed, taking a few steps forward and pulling the taller up from the sofa, hugging his torso. "I don't want to fight with you, so I will leave, and we'll talk again tomorrow."

Hyunjin nodded, knowing this was the way they finished all fights, instead of actually talking it out, but he also knew Seungmin had no energy to go through that. So he hugged back, kissing his head and letting the slightly shorter boy leave the room.

"That was... intense.", Chan cleared his throat and Hyunjin turned to him, nodding. He looked at the sofa, wandering if he should stay or go, just in case Chan would ask him about what Seungmin had said.

"Yea, well, it's fixed."

Chan frowned.

"What's up with him today? He's never this grumpy."

Hyunjin shrugged, carefully sitting back down.

"Sometimes he is, he just likes to stay in when he's feeling like that so he won't hurt anyone. But since you asked him to come here..."

"Oh." Chan bit his lip. "I'll apologize to him later, I had no idea. How are you two doing?"

Hyunjin tinted his head line a puppy.

"What?"

The smile on the leader's lips told him exactly what he was talking about, but he still pretended he had no idea.

"You know, three couples are done the least you could do was pretend to be in a relationship so we can all appear in those tiktoks later about the unique kpop groups."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. "Hyung-"

"Straykids, the group formed by four couples."

"Not happening. Seungmin is like a brother to me."

"Jeongin was like my little brother too.", he smiled teasingly, and Hyunjin slapped his arm, hoping the heat that he felt on his face wasn't showing as a shade of red over his cheeks.

"But we all knew he wasn't since the beginning, you were just oblivious."

Chan nodded.

"True. And so are you."

—————

Seungmin kicked the first thing that he found when he entered the dorm, not noticing the two people sitting in the couch. He whined, hating the way his mood was that day.

It happened sometimes, of course, no one could be in a good mood after managing three days with only one half meal, but he couldn't help it, he felt so guilty even if he wanted to eat a bit more.

A person like him should be burning around 2000 calories by standing still the whole day, way more if doing sports, but he had been lazy lately and skipped the gym, so he had to consume under 1000 calories if he wanted to lose weight.

"Fucking hell.", he felt tears prickle his eyes, his vision got blurry all of a sudden, head heavy as he fell against the wall, his hands supporting him while his body slid down to the floor. "Shit, not again-"

From an heavy head to a light head, tears were now falling freely as he felt consciousness slip away from his fingers, having only the time to see blonde fluffy hair running towards him, before everything went black.

—————

Reminder for this chapter is that an eating disorders doesn't affect only your weight. Both your physical and mental health are being affected by it too.

This is kind of an obvious one I hope.

On a different topic, did you guys see all the ISAC clips? What's your favorite interaction?