Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter THIRTY SEVEN

   "Mom, stop hovering," Teegan says, not even looking at her.

   Reese smiles and shakes her head. "Sorry."

   "What do you want?" Teegan asks, glancing over. She's smiling.

   "I'm just happy you two are hanging out here. It's nice," Reese answers.

   "We've been here a lot this week," Teegan says. "You're being weird."

   Reese smiles again and steps back. "I just keep thinking how weird it's going to be without you here."

   I feel Teegan tense up beside me, but it doesn't last long. She forces herself to relax and smile at her mom. "Yeah. I know. But I'll come back to visit. You know that. You don't have to wait another whole year to see me."

   "I sure hope not," Reese finishes and then turns to leave the room.

*

   "You're mom's not wrong," I tell Teegan, later that evening.

   We are outside at her house, sitting on the back deck. We already had a make out session in her bedroom while Reese was putting the kids to bed, and now we're moved outside. It's a beautiful evening and it's so hot that the air feels thick. I'm staring out at the water, the waves crashing into the sand, and thinking about how perfect everything is in this moment.

   "About what?" she asks me, looking over.

   I squeeze her hand and lean in to brush my mouth against her cheek. "It's going to be so weird here without you."

   "Oh, Cohen, don't," she says, and shakes her head back and forth and a few times.

   "What? We have one month left. The last month went so fast and I just know... it's going to be so hard to let you go," I admit, finally telling her how I feel about this.

   "It's not like I can change what's happening," she says, then meets my eyes for a second. "I don't think we should really stress over it right now."

   I sigh, my chest expanding slowly. "Okay."

   "Cohen... I just want to enjoy this time together," she tells me, laying her head down onto my shoulder.

   "Yeah, okay," I say, and kiss her head because I can. "You want to sleep at my house?"

   She giggles - the most amazing sound - and looks up at me again. "You just want to get me in your bed, huh?"

   I grin. "I do."

   "Alright. I'm just going to text my mom that I'll be home tomorrow," she says and pulls out her phone.

   "I have to work all day," I remind her, feeling annoyed.

   "I'll come see you," she says and leans her head onto me again. "I'll always come see you."

*

Two days later, the car pulls up out front of my house and then pulls into the driveway, an hour before I was told they would be here. Good thing I'm basically staring out the window waiting for them. I rarely feel the type of anxiety that I feel in my chest right now, and it's because I know what this visit means.

   Teegan has been at the hut since 2P.M., but we've been texting a bunch throughout the day. She's excited to meet my family, which is more than I can say for any other girl I've dated. I can't wait for my mom to see how much I care about this girl - love her - and that I am doing well on my own. Teegan's going to come over after her shift and we are going to have a late dinner with my mom and Margo.

   The door swings open and Margo runs in, hollering for me right away. I move through to the front hall and catch sight of her, my little sister. Her hair is down and she's wearing make up and I realize that I really did run away from my family a month ago. She hugs me as soon as she's close enough and as she steps back, I see my mom.

   Her dark hair is pulled back at her neck and she looks the same, but different. Her eyes are happy to see me, but she also looks sad. Somehow she looks older. I pull her into a hug and then take the bags from her.

   "You're only staying two days, right?" I ask, joking.

   Margo fake laughs. "I didn't know how many bathing suits I would need."

   "We have to leave Sunday afternoon, but I figured we'd do dinner tonight with your girlfriend and tomorrow Margo and I can catch up with some friends here," my mom explains.

   I nod. "Sounds good. Teegan should be here in under an hour."

   "You said she's working?" my mom asks, crossing through to the kitchen. She's looking around, inspecting the house.

   "Yeah. Until 7P.M." I follow her.

   She nods. "It looks pretty good here, Cohen."

   "Uh, thanks? I'm eighteen, I'm capable and cleaning, you know?" 

   Margo laughs, now in the doorway. "You didn't do any cleaning in San Diego."

   "Well, I'm on my own here," I say, smiling at her.

   "You're so lucky. Is it so cool living on your own?"

   I hesitate. I don't want to make this seem like it's been all rainbows and unicorns. "It's been good for me. But I have to work, and spend my own money on groceries and clean up..."

   Margo grunts. "Never mind. That sounds horrible."

   "It looks like you're doing okay," my mom tells me. "I'm going to get started on dinner, then."

   "Mom, you just drove five hours to get here," I say, shaking my head.

    "I said I wanted to make some dinner tonight, didn't I? Did you get the things I asked you to get?" she asks me instead.

   I nod towards the fridge. "Stuff for salads and there's chicken breasts in there, too."

   "Good. I'll get it started. Let me know when Teegan is on her way."

   I know not to argue, so I agree and go back to the living room with Margo. She tells me about her summer so far, things she's done with her friends and what her plans are for the rest of summer. And then she turns her questioning on me.

   "So, you came back to get Lola back but ended up dating a new girl?" Margo looks impressed and then laughs at the face I make.

   "I didn't come back to get Lola back," I say, but she knows I'm lying. "I didn't. I came back to hang out with Rex for the summer."

   "How's he? Man, I miss him," Margo tells me.

   "He's good. I'm sure he'll be around tomorrow."

   "So... how'd you meet Teegan?"

   I bite my bottom lip and think. I haven't told her or my mom much about Teegan and they definitely cannot find out that she's Lola's step sister. My mom didn't like Lola much. Margo either. Lola was only in Avila Beach on the weekends and I was in Santa Maria during the week for school. But I got a bit obsessed with her and started staying with friends in Santa Maria so I could see her more. A month before my dad died, Lola started acting weird and wanted to "slow down", which made no sense to me. Now I think she was probably already cheating on me by then.

   As I open my mouth to tell my sister that I met Teegan at the rental hut, where we both work,  my phone dings right before I am able to. I check it and see that Teegan is on her way.

   "She'll be here in ten minutes," I tell my sister instead, and then stand up and head towards the kitchen to tell my mom.