Touch me Not

1. new beginnings

"What are you doing here, Adam?" His voice was achingly familiar. Rough and decisive.

"I-I... I wanted to give you this." I held out the present, willing my hand to stop shaking.

"Why?" His face hardened, shoulders tensing, his knuckles turning pale where he grasped the door. It hurt to see him uncomfortable.

"I want us to be friends again."

"I'm not sure it's a good idea, Adam."

"Why not?" I tried to stand taller, ready to fight for us this time. We both deserved better.

"You know why."

"Well, I think our friendship is more important. How I feel... How I felt shouldn't matter."

"Adam, just go." He began to close the door, giving me yet another rejection, but I lodged my foot between the door and its frame.

Although a head taller than me and built like the football player he was, I wasn't about to give up. With newfound strength, I pushed inside, stumbling across the floor until I caught my balance.

I forgot what I had been about to say. The room was wrecked. Empty cans and bottles littered the windowsill and his desk. Papers lay strewn on the floor along with his clothes. It smelled as if he hadn't aired the place in several months.

"Gabriel...what's happened to you?" I'd never seen the room in such chaos. "Gabriel?" I took a tentative step toward him, then another. I continued until I stood right in front of him, close enough to see the spots where he'd missed a few strays with the razor.

"Are you okay?" I asked, wondering if I would get a reply.

It didn't seem like it.

He closed his eyes only to open them seconds later. They glinted with something unfamiliar that made me pause.

A moment of absolute silence passed between us, drawn out and fragile. His breathing changed along with mine—nostrils flaring slightly. I couldn't move as tension coiled around us, prodding my urge to do something I shouldn't. It was all too tempting. But he'd said he didn't want this. He'd ignored me for months because I'd wanted more.

I gasped when he stepped closer, trying my best to swallow when he touched my side. Another step, his hand at the back of my neck.

Am I dreaming? I dropped the present and clutched his wide shoulders, searching for a hold as he smashed our lips together, violently.

Pushing through the shock, I received him, meeting his demanding assault. It was fast and unyielding, almost furious. He tugged at my hair and scraped his nails along the sensitive skin around my neck. My thoughts became a fuzzy mess and that small trickle of hope for something between us flared alive like never before. He was all I'd ever wanted. All I'd ever needed. For years, I had longed for this to happen, never believing that it was truly possible.

My lips burned while I ran my hands down his back, feeling the fabric roll beneath my fingers. If I'd been braver, I would have slipped my hands beneath the shirt to feel his skin against mine. I needed something naked and real to ground me, because I was flying high as he kissed me breathless—kissed me until the taste of iron tainted the exchange.

Without a word, he answered my prayers. Buttons flew and material frayed when he tugged at my shirt. I shuddered while it fell to my feet in a sad pile, exposing skin that flushed at his touch. Whimpering beneath his lips, I didn't know if I wanted us to stop or not. I had wanted this to happen for such a long time, but this... It was too much, too fast. I couldn't think.