𝐒𝐀𝐌 & 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 : 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔

23; Me Before You

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There was a shaky breath from Bucky as he found himself sitting at the docs. His bright blue eyes skimmed the water and he swallowed hard. What was he doing here? Nowhere was safe. Not for him.

Bucky touched the hem of his pants; black jeans sewn with red string. It was something Sam did for him. There was this beautiful thing he remembered his lover saying about it. Bucky remembered he was a blushy mess and as he looked at Sam his heart sped up to an alarming rate; "We don't erase what's been broken. We wanna see it don't we? So we know it doesn't need to be fixed anymore. To embrace what we've sewn back up huh?"

His heart beated faster even now, and a shaky hand slid up to touch the pounding in his chest. Bucky pushed down a lump in his throat; it felt like he was dry swallowing the world's largest pill.

When he left here, when he wasn't home anymore, what will soon become of him? Bucky hoped not much will change. But if he knew anything about his life; hope was poison. Because when the demons came to drag you by your feet and slimy hands reached forward to tug a blindfold over your eyes, that hope hurt like hell.

Sam always said that hope and ignorance toe similar lines when you're in pain. A solider, on their knees, bleeding on a battlefield, who refuses to get up because they have hope all the fighting will stop.. that's not hope. That's just straight dumb. Isn't it? Straight Dumb is also, never allowing yourself to be vulnerable because of the fear that things would go to hell.

Hope is praying something will work, and fighting with all you have to make sure it happens.

Was running the same as fighting?

Was fighting the same as fighting?

The longer his mind twisted and tugged, leaped and halted, he couldn't breath. His stomach tied itself in violent knots, spinning like one of those crazy rides at the carnival. The ones that you slip and slide in, because there weren't enough safety measures in place to make sure you didn't die.

" Wow, who's this handsome fellow sitting all alone?" Sam's pur spilled out.

The warmth of his voice enveloped Bucky, and rocked him like a warm blanket. Toasty. Comforting. His head slid to look behind him, and he swallowed hard.

" Oh you know, doing bad stuff like.. illegal U-turns and um.." Bucky couldn't think straight, not with Sam so close and he sucked in a breath. "And you know, taking too many books from the library and letting them all become overdue."

" A bad boy huh?" Sam smiled from ear to ear as he bent down, stroking brown hair out of his face with a light whisper. "My mama warned me about boys like you, but dear lord even with all your warning signs I have to say.."

Bucky was quickly melting in his arms and as the large man pressed soft lips along his throat he was floating.

" ...you are the prettiest thing I've ever seen. Whoever took their eyes off you didn't know what he was doing."

" I don't appreciate you talking about him like that." Bucky chuckled, his eyes staying glued to Sam's beautiful face.

" Is that right?"

" It is. I bet he's a better boyfriend then you ever could be."

" Oh yeah?"

" And I think he'd kick your sorry ass if he saw you close to me like this."

Sam smiled down at him and leaned down. He dragged his lips across Bucky's, so feathery it tickled, and his eyes shut. A soft gasp left him as Sam lingered there; and finally, fucking finally their lips pressed together. The brunette kissed him, slow and careful, like he wanted to do it right.

He had waited his whole life for this.

One can only fight so long, before they are ready to put their swords away. Before the can finally breathe. Bucky could breathe now. He could breathe so well his lungs couldn't handle it.

Sam was an ocean and Bucky was a sailor, drowning and coiling in his heavy tides.

If Sam was a hurricane Bucky was standing in the middle of it, watching his chaos spin off course.

Sam was the peaceful song Louisiana sang on a rainy night.

He was the wind that picked up under a birds wings.

Sam was death.

Sam was Life.

Rebirth.

Restoration.

Bucky was never a very religious man but seeing his lover made him want to drop to his knees and beg for mercy. Why? Why would a king be paired so well with a dog?

That's what Bucky was, wasn't he? A mangy mutt, stealing food off Sam's table and crawling into his bed at night. Begging for Sam to pet his knotted, messy fur. Sam sighed against his lips and like a siren he hummed with satisfaction, for Bucky had been pulled fully under the ocean right where he was needed. As he pulled back from the warm kiss he couldn't help but smile at that silly expression on Bucky's face.

" James.."

" Don't say my name like that, you don't know what you are doing to me."

" I think it's time for bed," Sam leaned down to whisper against his ear. He ran his fingers through Bucky's hair, and gazed down at his face like he was sculpted from the heavens.

" What do you see when you look at me like that?"

" I see.. clearly."

Bucky's breath caught in his throat as fingers curled against his collar, and forced him onto his feet. He was met with a sloppy kiss, and warm hands tracing down his abdomen until the squeezed his hips. Sam was there,to catch every desperate little gasp of silly whine.

As the impatient feeling grew inside Sam he found himself scooping up his silly little pet, and carrying him the rest of the way to the house. Bucky found his thighs squeezing against his sides as he gazed into his eyes.

For a moment; everything fell in place. Like Bucky blinked and that last puzzle piece snapped into it's spot in the middle of the picture. Sam leaned down to whisper against his ear for a brief moment, his soft breath tickling the man's neck; " I love you, James Barnes.."

♡ : ♡

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂