(TEMPORARY HIATUS!!) Reaching Out|Married AU| Book 2 Of "Stuck With The Rain"

Chapter XI: Help

(⚠️TW: Mentions of Self Harm, which the worst of it is in a dream and can be skipped if you so wish, and domestic abuse⚠️)

Luz P.O.V.

"Oh god...what have I done. I..." I'd been running for a while until I found myself wherever the hell I am. My mind felt hazy and my body feels heavy. I don't want to move, although I probably should. Someone's bound to question why someone's been sitting in an alleyway for at least an hour. Besides this is really starting to sting...

She wants you to hurt yourself. Why else would she so disgusted by how broken you are.

"No she's not disgusted by me. Fuck! I need to get ahold of my thoughts." My thoughts kept screaming at me to hurt myself. I couldn't stop them anymore I didn't know what else to do... "Oh fuck...I-I need to get home..." I stood up quickly and patted down my clothing for any dirt. I calmed myself with breathing as I walked back home. It'd been just about over an hour, based off the sky. I saw our house in view, guilt forming a pit in my gut. "Amity? I'm home." Walking inside it was quiet. I'm alone still...

She'd rather you bleed than talk to her...

I shook my head trying to ignore my thoughts. It was irrational to think they had any truth in them but...what if they did? Maybe not as intense as I'm thinking but something's true. Why else would I be thinking it so often? Heh that's a stupid conclusion. I spotted my wine glass on the kitchen counter and went over to it to figure out why it was moved. I guess Amity found out what I bought... "Well might as well drink it while I have it." I grabbed the bottle immediately smelling it and feeling somewhat relaxed. Knowing I'll be suffocated under its bitter taste, the remembrance of silencing the voices, and my past with each sip. More or less anyways...

—

"Love?" I hummed at the sound of Amity's voice, slowly opening my eyes. I groaned and closed my eyes. "Luz I know you're awake."

"Hmph. What do you want?" Amity sighed and went silent for a moment.

"You getting out of the bathtub would be a start, and if you don't I'll spray you with water till you sober up." I opened my eyes to see that Amity was holding the shower head to my face.

"Aww just with water? That's no fun." Amity blushed knowing what I was implying. She shook her head and turned the knob soaking me instantly. "Ack! Okay, okay! I'll get out!" Amity stopped the water as I fumbled over myself to get up.

"How drunk are you?" I didn't answer Amity, rather I walked to the kitchen and waved my hand to the bottles I left on the kitchen counters. "Don't tell me..." Amity checked each of the three bottles seeing as all but one of them were fully empty. "Luz this isn't good." I rolled my eyes and grabbed the bottle that still held liquid, sitting down on a stool next to the counter.

"Tú no aprendo ese yo no necesito tu a ayúdame." I started to drink what was left, until Amity pushed the bottle away from my mouth and kissed me.

"Look I know I may have been a little touchy with how I reacted earlier I'm just...really scared okay?" I pushed her away from me gently and turned my head.

"Pffft sure okay...why the hell are you scared? You're not the one that has intrusive thoughts about self-harm, o-or a rapist for a father, or a fucked up ex. The only thing you should be scared of is Rain seeing me drunk like this." Amity's face scrunched up like she was going to yell from rage. I smiled that my words hurt just the way I wanted.

"T-That's not fair, Luz. You know I care about you and I don't—" I felt my grip on the bottle tense as Amity put her hand on my shoulder.

"Oh the fuck do you care?! Y-you...sé que quieres que me haga daño mí misma. Even if that isn't true you're really good at me feeling like it's true." I looked at the bottle in my hand, feeling my eyes tear up as I finished the bottle off.