Smoke

1

        I was even more disappointed in myself in this moment than I normally was. I was shaking from nerves-feeling an actual emotion, rather than the usual hollow. It wasn't because of how I was feeling, but for what I was about to do. I'd grown so used to being disappointed in myself; that didn't change that I was shaking. I'd talked myself into and out of this plan over and over again, but the fact just simply was, that I needed this. And I didn't care if it was a bad idea. I didn't regret the decision I'd forced myself into. I might later, but I just couldn't care. 

       I leaned against the brick wall of the school; across from the back doors, out of sight. Then I saw them, and I wanted to run! But I couldn't; I had to do this. Now, rather than later. We had half an hour, before the entire school would be let out, and the parking lot would flood with students and cars, all in a hurry to leave this Hell hole.

         The usual group came outside obnoxiously and walked to their usual spot. Mark, both jock and loner, owns a convertible. His group likes to ditch school and hang out in the parking lot, drinking, smoking, just having a good time. He wasn't the leader, however. No, the one who ran the whole show would be Nick. Bad boy, dangerous and intimidating. Loner, mysterious and intriguing. Drug dealer, well known, yet sneaky and untouchable.

        Nick leaned against the hood of Mark's convertible, his followers huddled around the car, goofing around with various of our fellow students' cars. They joked around with one another and shoved back in reply. Nick seemed unimpressed, like he wasn't even paying them any mind. He was too busy shaking a cigarette from the box in his hand. Willing myself to stop shaking, I take a deep breath and cross the parking lot. Sam, already out of his mind high, was the only one to take any notice in my approach. He failed to get up, and only managed a slur.

        "Shut up," Nick mumbled, placing the cigarette between his lips. He freed his hand to go for the lighter. I slid up behind him and slipped it off the hood before his fingers could grasp it. "Hey-" he started, his eyebrows raising at the sight of me. "What're you doing?"

        "Making you a deal." I hold the lighter up between two fingers, "You want this, right?"

        "And, what is it a nice thing like you could possible want?"

        My fingers twitched, and I forced them to slip into his pocket. The left, front pants pocket. I let my hand rest there a moment longer, before surfacing, box tucked into the palm. I held it up, waving it.

        "You're joking?" He said it like a question, because he could tell I was serious. He nods okay, taking the box from me and bouncing out another stick. I took a step back, observing. This was it. He held it up in front of his face. "You know the best way to receive one of these?" I shook my head. He needn't ask if I'd ever had one before; that answer was obvious. He took a step closer- I could feel his breath, pressed hot against my face. I looked up at him, at his closeness. He was maybe five inches taller than me, and his brown eyes were nearly black. He slid one hand around my waist, and I sucked in a sharp, inaudible breath. Unable to move, I'm shocked and confused to find him bending down and kissing me!

         When he pulls back, the cigarette is placed between my lips, and a smirk is plastered on his. He pushes the second one into his own mouth, and brings the lighter to it- eyes never leaving mine. He steps back up to me, lighter at the ready. He gives me a look, "you sure?"

        I give him a curt nod, and suppress another breath as a flame flicks to life. I immediately start hacking, causing him, and the audience I had been too preoccupied to notice before, burst out laughing. Nick gives me another amused smirk, leaning back on Mark's hood. He pats the metal beside him. I stayed standing where I was, but after the- you're in big trouble- looks from his friends, take a step forward. I stood maybe a foot in front of the car; he stretches his arm out and pulls me by the waist to him. Now I was standing between his legs, and there was maybe an inch between us. He leans back, smirking- I'm beginning to take in just how much he does that.

         'What have I gotten myself into?' I ask myself, trying my hardest not to glare at him or let my fear resurface. 'Stay calm- not scared, not sassy, just cool- like them.'

        "So, what brings you here, Kitten?"

        I grab the cigarette from my lips with two fingers and hold it away from my face. I couldn't stop the hacking fit from happening once again. 

         'An easy way to get killed,' my mind sassed. I cock my head back and to the side, leaning forward and placing both hands on either side of him, balancing myself just over his body. "Looking for a good deal; everyone knows you're the guy to come to."

        "What?" He was actually sputtering, the baddest ass in the school, the menace the whole town complains about. His eyes suddenly narrow, and he shoves me backward. He stands up to his full height, shadowing me with his arms crossed over his chest. "Okay, what do you want? Did Daddy put you up to this?" He spat the word, sickness and mockery mixed together.

        Everyone knew I was the daughter of the town's top detective. Everyone either loved him, or despised him. He used to be the best, before...

        I felt my own eyes narrow, unable to contain my emotions any longer. "I don't need this. I'll find someone else to help me; Someone who can take a job seriously."

         I turn to go, fists still balled tight at my sides, but am stopped. He spins me around, holds me away from him, and stares down at me...apologetically?

         "You're...serious?" I nod, fighting to keep my tough girl composure, nerves threatening to ruin the moment yet again.

         He sighs, pulling me to the car and sits us both down, facing one another. His hands are on top of my knees, holding my own gently. "Look, I don't know what this is about, but I can't help you. I want to, just not in the way you're asking. I...don't deal anymore."

         In that moment, Sam starts laughing hysterically, pointing at something only he can see. He was muttering something, that could have been "Motor-cat, dog boat." "Moh-tah cah tt, doh gg boot." I turn back to Nick, giving him a look that i hoped told him that I wasn't impressed, nor was I buying what he was trying to sell me- that he wasn't selling anything!

         Sam was still cracking up, muttering things I couldn't even begin to guess. Mark tosses Nick something- keys- and they all climb into the back of the convertible, Nick making a move for the driver's seat. He pauses as he opens the door, turning back to me. "Look Danni, it was nice hanging with you, but you're a good girl. Smart. With a cop for a father. You don't want to be messing around with a useless guy like me."

         He climbs into the car, starts it up, and pulls away, leaving me standing there in a daze. In the distance, the school bell sounds, and the lot begins to fill up. Still staring at the space where the car had once parked, I quickly back away and begin my trek home. I still had the now burn-out cigarette dangling between the fingers at my side. I was too preoccupied to get rid of it. There was only one thing on my mind- not what I had gone there for in the first place, not that I quite possibly could have bought drugs- but that Nick Forester knew my name...