Simple Complexity

Part 8

'Erin, baby,' Patty said softly, still holding her up, 'none of us would have been able to.'

'Why didn't you protect her?' Erin suddenly said in anger, 'why?'

She looked to the two women, stepping back from them, her legs trembling, and she raised her voice, 'What the hell were you doing? Why weren't you with her?'

The two Ghostbusters looked at her, Abby about to speak but Erin cut her off.

'For God's sake Abby,' Erin began to scream, 'she could have died, she could be dead. Why weren't you there.'

The brunette was looking between the two women, both Abby and Patty speechless.

'What the fuck?' Erin said, the words spitting from her lips in an almost deep roar. 'How could you not protect her? What were you thinking?' Erin stood still for a moment, bringing her hand to her head, and then looking away and then back to them. 'Were you even thinking?!'

'Erin,' Abby said, warning in her voice.

'What Abby? What?' Erin's tears were hot and continuous, her response fierce, 'You left her alone?' Erin turned to Patty,' what the hell were you two doing? Why? Why was she alone?'

'Erin,' Patty said, as Abby turned away, her shoulders shaking, crying in response to Erin's words, blame and remorse coursing through her.

'Erin,' Patty said again, watching as the physicist stood in the middle of the room, her chest and shoulders heaving, her face swollen and red from her tears and outburst.

'This is no one's fault Erin, it's no one's. It's no one's. Okay. No one could have stopped this.'

'She can't ever be alone, she can't,' Erin wailed, 'I don't want her to be alone, she needs me there. I need her. We need to be together. We need to always be together. Always. I need her.'

Erin's body began to shake, and she covered her face with her hands.

And she just screamed.

Abby looked at Erin, her tears still falling, and Patty stepped towards Erin, scooping her into her arms just as her legs began to give way again. Erin's body felt like it was caving into itself. Folding, disappearing.

'We couldn't have done anything Erin,' Patty whispered as she wrapped her arms around her, Erin's screaming muffled in Patty chest.

'Breathe Erin. Breathe baby.'

Erin nodded into the woman's chest, spluttering words, 'I would have, I would.'

Patty pulled Erin away from her, putting her hands on her shoulders, Abby standing close, wiping her eyes.

'Erin, look at me,' Patty said sternly, still upset at Erin's words and her concern for Holtz, 'She is okay, Holtz is going to be okay, this is not your fault.'

Erin nodded, staggering a little but holding herself upright, choking out her words as she tried to control her breathing, 'It is, if I wasn't on a stupid date, you guys would have let me come, I would have been there and I would have protected her.'

'Erin,' Abby said softly, 'This isn't your fault.'

'Abby it is, I love her, and I should have been there.'

Abby and Patty looked at each other, Erin closing her eyes as more tears fell and she didn't bother to wipe them, she inhaled hard, looking up at the two of them.

'I love her.'

'We know honey, she loves you too,' Abby said with a gentle smile.