Simple Complexity

Part 7

Erin's expression was still one of hurt so the blonde changed her mind, she had no control, her hand sliding to Erin's face, taking the risk, just diving straight in, her need was just too much.

'Nothing happened. I promise.' Holtz whispered firmly, their eyes locked, and Erin nodded into the blonde's palm, Holtz giving a short nod too and Erin inhaled, understanding, feeling her chest relax, her nerves calm.

And Erin knew. Erin knew nothing had happened with the waitress, and selfishly that's the way she wanted it. She didn't want Holtz with anyone, she needed Holtz to not be with anyone. She needed Holtz at the Firehouse, waiting for her, wanting her.

I want to fall asleep with you again she wanted to say.

Erin sat back down; her face hot where the blonde's fingers had touched. Josh sliding his arm around her waist as he looked towards Holtz, and they said goodbye to the others. Holtz giving Erin a wink as they left, Erin's eyes lingering on the woman, and they shared a smile.

Erin turned to Josh, smiling tightly at him, he just stared back at her, and she knew he was waiting for her to explain, to say something. Erin half expecting him to question her.

'I've never not been on a Bust with them,' Erin decided to say, her chest pounding.

'They'll be okay.'

Erin nodded, looking away and towards the door, even though the women were gone.

'You wanna get outta here,' Josh asked.

Erin nodded, pulling her card from her purse.

'No, babe, I'll get it.'

Erin shook her head with a smile, pointing to all the half-eaten meals.

'We should probably put this on the company card.'

Josh chuckled, pulling his arm from her and they stood up, heading to the door to pay.

Josh helped Erin to put her coat on and they walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, they were silent, and Erin noticed they were heading in the direction of his place, and as much as she wanted to call Abby and tell her to grab her suit and pick her up, she didn't mind the thought of getting into bed. Maybe a night of sex was what she needed, something to quieten the roar inside, the one she was no longer trying to fight. She was exhausted. Because she couldn't fight it anymore. Because she didn't want to fight it anymore.

'You have a good night?' Erin asked, leaning into him and he let go of her hand, slipping his arm around her shoulders and she turned her face to kiss him.

He nodded, 'Yeah I did, you?'

Erin nodded, 'Yeah, while it lasted.'

'Holtzmann is a bit of fun?'

Erin hesitated for a moment, unable to hide her smile, so she avoided looking at him as they continued to walk.

'Yeah.'

'You two are....close.'

It was clearly a statement and not a question, it was an observation, Erin aware that Josh had picked up on their closeness. And she waited for him to say something more, but he didn't. She was waiting for him to ask her what Holtz meant by nothing had happened and why she had to tell her that. But he didn't.

'Yeah, we're close.'

Josh just let out a small hum in response.

Erin didn't say anything for a moment, her mind racing. Taking herself back to the cuddles on the couch, how she had asked Jillian if she could fall asleep with her. How she wanted to fall asleep with her. How she wanted the woman's body against hers, her arms around her. She felt safe in her arms, she felt happy in her arms, satisfied, cared for, loved. She felt loved. She felt loved. More loved than when Josh had said it out loud to her. How she had felt jealous of the waitress and of Holtz and then relief when she'd heard Holtz whisper that nothing had happened.