The Dutiful Wife [COMPLETED]

8.

The one thing my parents knew how to do was shut down a dance floor. They didn't care where they were or what type of people they were around. They were themselves, regardless of who was watching. I remember hoping and wishing to have something as solid as them. Marrying Shiloh, I thought for sure that we'd have an everlasting marriage. We'd been friends for so long that I thought that things would get even better. I'd been a fool. Now here I was sitting here tonight with him as if everything was okay between us. The truth behind it all was something I'd never tell my family and even my friends. It was humiliating.

I didn't know what was going on with Shiloh, but for the last week now he hadn't snapped at me, hit me, tried to force himself on me, etc. He was home at night, cooking, doing more for Shyanne like getting up in the middle of the night instead of letting me do it every single time, he'd ask me if I was in the mood for sex and if my answer was no he'd respect that. Honestly, I was more terrified than I'd been when he was beating my ass. What the hell was he up to? Was he trying to get me to let my guard down? Had he done something illegal that he wanted me to keep a secret again? I didn't understand this man at all.

"Well, it wasn't all me. Shy paid for it all and even helped cousin Myra and I decorate." I placed my hand on top of Shiloh's. He looked at me in confusion for just a second before looking at my uncle and cracking a smile. I was pretty sure that gesture had caught him off guard, but if we wanted people to think we were happily married, I was willing to sit here and pretend not to be disgusted with him. Knowing he'd been cheating on me, I never wanted to have sex with him. I always turned it down. However, he'd been right about one thing, though. I did still love him. However, loving him didn't mean that I could forget anything he'd done, any lie he'd told, any blow he'd thrown. I remembered it all.

"I'm sorry, but what is it that you do again, son?" Uncle Elridge raised an eyebrow at Shiloh.

"Babe let's dance..." I stood up, taking Shiloh by the hand, pulling him to the dance floor as the next song came on, and family members started to get up from their seats to take their places on the floor. I placed my arms around Shiloh's neck as he placed his hands on my waist, and we slow danced to Avant and KeKe Wyatt's "My First Love".

I avoided eye contact with him but feeling him wrap his arms around my back pulling me into him, I looked up.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You really are my first love, Ann."

I sucked my teeth and inadvertently rolled my eyes. I wasn't buying that shit. He'd lied so much, why should I let my guard down and believe this when he was just sooo ecstatic to tell me over a month ago that he wasn't in love with me?

"You don't believe it?" He questioned as I looked off to the side. Keeping one arm wrapped around my back, he took his free hand and made me look at him. "It's easy for me to say I'm not in love because I've never been in love with any woman. You've always wondered why my past relationships ended. I guess I just like toxic women who trigger me. I have a temper, and my temper can sometimes cause me to get physical. My past relationships were all about fucking and fighting. It was about lust, not love."

"Is that why you cheat?" I frowned.

"I'm trying to be honest, Ann. I'm a 30-year-old grown-ass man who's just now realizing what he has in front of him. I'm a 30-year-old man purposely sabotaging what he has because he's terrified of being in love and admitting it. Shit makes me feel like a weak ass nigga."

"You don't love me Shy, so let's just cut the bull—"

"You remember when you were dating that Eric nigga? The one you were crazy about and could see yourself marrying and having kids with?"