What do I do when everything comes back to him but I can't go back?
What do I do with these sentimental summer sorrows,
Forever looking back on last summer when our love was forever,
Forever mourning his music
As the ocean swallows the burning sun,
Never to be seen again, drowned in an atramentous sea of sorrow.
Malicious kismet kisses
From the fiend that is fate
Notched into me love-hate.
He was a cruel mirage, a false oasis in the depleted desert of my heart,
A mesmerizing optical illusion.
And yet, knowing I've been deceived,
I still want to believe,
Corybantic grasping at straws,
Still relying on every scrap of love he's thrown my way,
Keeping me around in the background.
My delicate wings are hammered to his empty promises of permanence.
Everyone says breaking the bind is for the best,
But my wings are being torn from me, chiffony agony,
And my heart will never rest.
I'll miss him more than ever, forever.
I will always wonder & worry about him,
Even though he's probably just fine without me,
Even though he might soon forget all about me.
I can only hope someday I won't be so broken-hearted,
And we can be friends again, the way we started.
For now I try in vain to fill the void,
To substitute for the drug I must avoid.
I go shopping with a grocery list of emotions,
In search of the happiness & peace of mind that I ran out of,
And I try to get rid of my pointless love,
But there is a no return & no refund policy.
It's like a human appendix,
No longer serving a purpose
Other than to wreak havoc,
Except it can't be surgically removed.
Maybe the death, the final breath
Of our love was in the air from the beginning,
A love built on illicit infatuation,
But it never felt like sinning.
He promised to one day part the seas
So they could no longer part us.
I believed he was a miracle & could make miracles of his own.
Beloved, I believed he could make stars out of stones.
He planted a garden of gillyflowers,
Budding on my lifeless soil, watered with honey-infused rain,
Liquid love from above.
But he forgot to keep watering them,
And I flooded them on accident,
Trying to save them from wilting,
And by crying all over them,
Till my tears finally crystallized,
Spearing my swollen eyes,
Like sapphire spikes.
I am sick beyond belief,
Beyond relief.
Can I ever be salvaged from my own savage need?
{Instagram prompts
#altpoetryprompts
"Sentimental summer sorrows"
"Mourning your music"
"Kismet kisses"
"Cruel mirage"
"Illicit infatuation"
#seyamayprompts
"As the ocean swallows the burning sun"
#seyamayprompts
"Hammered to permanence"
"Grocery list of emotions"
#kanusprompt
"Budding on lifeless soil"
"Honey-infused rain"}
