Boys Don't Cry - Steddie

Chapter 10

"As flattering as your timeline of me being your gay awakening-"

"God, please stop calling it that."

Eddie ignored him and continued talking, "-was, we still need to have an actual conversation."

Steve sighed and let his forehead fall against Eddie's shoulder, "About what?"

"I know you're not just a pretty face, Harrington. You know what I'm talking about."

"I mean like, I don't know what to say. I've never done this before." When Eddie stayed quiet, Steve quickly straightened up again, his face bright red, "That didn't sound how I meant it to!"

Eddie just laughed, smiling warmly as he looked at him, "What do you want to do, Steve?" He could sense him getting nervous again as his eyes wandered around the room. Eddie reached out and held his face, gently brushing his hair to the side, "I told you, I don't want you jumping into anything too fast. We don't have to label anything if that freaks you out. We can just... see where things go?"

Steve let out a breath and nodded. He knew how he felt about Eddie. He knew how Eddie felt about him. But actually thinking about what resulted from that. That word. Boyfriends. That shook him to his core. He just needed some time. It was all so new and he had practically forced himself to spill everything out of panic. He didn't know if he could force himself to call someone else his boyfriend, no matter how much he wanted to. Not yet. "Yeah, I think... I think that would be good for now, if that's okay with you?"

"I could die a happy man simply knowing I got to kiss King Harrington but once," Eddie put on an exaggerated voice.

"You're an idiot," but it made him feel better. It made him more relaxed to know Eddie was still lighthearted. "Speaking of kissing, I hope you don't expect me to tell you I want to kiss every time. That's not fun. That's boring, actually."

"Oh, well excuse me for trying to make you comfortable," he leaned forward so their faces were inches apart. Steve's heart skipped a beat. "You taste like toothpaste by the way," he watched as Eddie licked his lips.

"Yeah, well, I think toothpaste is your best bet for today, because your other options are pretty gross."

Eddie smiled, still making no attempt to move away, just speaking quietly to him as if they were having a normal conversation. "How's your head feeling?"

"Still hurts a little..." Steve was hearing what Eddie was saying, he was responding, but his thoughts were elsewhere. So close. God, he's so close. He knew what Eddie was doing. He was testing him.

Unfortunately, Steve was weak, and he caved when Eddie clicked his tongue and said, "That's a shame."

"I hope you know you're a dick," Steve reached for the back of his neck and pulled him into a desperate kiss. He was learning very quickly that he loved kissing Eddie. And even though his dream was a different scenario, he was right. It really wasn't like the girls he had kissed. He felt Eddie's hand against his back, between his shoulder blades, pulling him closer. Steve thought he was going to combust when it traced his spine to settle on his waist. He pulled away after a minute or two to catch his breath.

A smug grin spread across Eddie's face, "Wow, you really are obsessed with me, aren't you, Harrington?"

"Shut up..." Steve hated the effect Eddie had on him. Especially this new part of him that Steve had only gotten to meet about ten minutes ago. Everything he did made fireworks go off in his head and an embarrassing blush bloom across his face. The butterflies in his stomach felt like they were doing a synchronized dance routine any time Eddie smiled at him. He felt like a thirteen year old girl whose crush had just lent her a pencil.

"Or what?"

"Nice try. I know your games, Munson. I'm onto you."

"What are you trying to say about me, Steve?" He held a hand to his chest, feigning offense.

"You just want me to kiss you again."

"Oh, so you're still thinking of kissing me?" There was that stupid grin again. God, he hated it. He loved it. He hated how much he loved it because he was sure he would do just about anything to see it.

Steve had to get up and walk to the doorway to keep from giving in again, "Better luck next time."

Eddie gasped, "I can't believe you've deflected my Jedi mind tricks AND my irresistible charm!"

It was about two in the morning when Steve got out of bed to get some water. He did his best to sneak down the stairs without them creaking too much. He didn't want to wake up Eddie. Apparently that was in vain, because when he got downstairs, Eddie was sitting on the couch with another book, squinting to make out the words in the dim light of the table lamp next to him.

"Eddie!" Steve didn't know why he was whispering. There was no one else in the house to wake up. In hindsight, it might have been good that he whispered, because Eddie looked about ready to jump out of his skin when he heard his name.

"Jesus christ, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" They were both whispering now.

"What are you doing?"

"Reading."

"It's two in the morning."

"Well then what are you doing?"

"Getting water." Steve went over to join him on the couch, "Can't sleep?"

Eddie sighed and closed the book in resignation, "No." Then Steve's hand was on Eddie's knee and he was sent into a flurry of emotions.

"I don't know if it would help at all, but if you wanted you could sleep with me? I mean you don't have to if you don't want to, but I have the space in my bed and it might not fix anything in hindsight, I just thought I would offer. Actually, no, that's weird. Forget I said anything... but if you wanted to, then, that's okay with me. I guess it wouldn't be as awkward now..." that we're dating. Is that what this was? What would you even call this? 'No labels' was apparently more difficult than he thought it would be.

Eddie was just trying to catch up to what Steve was rambling about. He had been too focused on his hand, but he nodded quickly, "Yeah... I mean, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind."

Eddie followed him back upstairs and to his room, suddenly feeling nervous for some reason. He had never actually been in a romantic relationship with anyone, and yeah, they weren't really considering whatever this was official, but it felt oddly domestic in a way. He lay down next to Steve and looked up at the ceiling, smiling at the chipped paint, reminiscent of glow in the dark stars that had been taken down years ago. Eddie had always wanted them on his ceiling when he was little.

He didn't realize that Steve was watching him until he felt a hand against his, hesitantly reaching out. He held his hand out for him and Steve slowly intertwined their fingers before looking back up to Eddie's face. "You don't have to stay on the edge of the bed you know," his voice was soft and tired and it made Eddie's heart explode.

"I didn't want to crowd you."

"'S'okay. I want you to feel safe."

Eddie thought he could cry when he heard Steve say that. He slowly moved over on the bed, getting closer to Steve. He was a little disappointed when he let go of his hand, but then he was being pulled closer. Somehow they both ended up on their sides and Steve was holding him close to his chest. He put his hand on top of Eddie's this time, fitting their fingers together once more as he rested his chin on Eddie's shoulder. "This okay?"

Eddie had never felt anything like this before. He had never been cared for like this. Not by anyone he was in a relationship with anyway. Of course, he didn't really have a good comparison either seeing as he hadn't even been in one, but he thought this was it. This was what love felt like in the purest way. He nodded, "Yeah. It's okay."

Steve was kissing his shoulder now. Gently. Almost feather-light. He was vaguely aware of it as he felt his eyelids getting heavy. He really hadn't been getting a lot of sleep. He could feel Steve's breath against the back of his neck, steady and slow, as he drifted off to the thought that Steve never got his water from downstairs.