Drowning Emotions (Isla Series #5)

26

"Don't act like you have been a saint all this time."

Every time I want to feel hurt, it pops inside my mind that I was the one who left. And surely, ibabato niya iyon sa akin. Alam ko dahil kilala ko siya.

"Kailan ba ako nagsinungaling sa 'yo?" Marco hissed. I stared at him, taking his anger in. "Friends don't lie, huh?" he threw back the words I told him yesterday..

"We're not friends," I hissed back. Those were his words.

Ngumiti siya nang sarkastiko. "Right, we're exes. And ex's lies... My ex lies. All the time." Nag-aalab ang galit niya sa 'kin.

Bago pa may makasalita ulit sa aming dalawa ay nagbukas na ang elevator at may pumasok na mga nagchichismisang nurses. Kinuha ko ang oppurtunidad na iyon na lumabas kaagad, muntikan pang maipit kung hindi hinarang ni Marco ang kamay para bumukas iyon ulit.

"Stop following me."

He didn't listen. I can feel his presence behind me kahit na palakad-lakad na ako sa hallway, hindi alam kung saan nais tumungo. Gusto ko lang malayo muna sa kaniya. Naguguluhan ako lalo.

"Stop following me," I repeated, firmer.

"Sabi ko sa 'yo hindi kita titigilan hanggang sabihin mo sa akin ang totoo," seryosong sabi niya sa 'kin. "Bakit ba ayaw mong umamin? Why do you keep running away from me? Bakit ba gusto mo akong palaging ipagmukhang... tanga?" His voice cracked a bit, making me halt from my tracks.

I wanted to speak, but my voice betrayed me. Nilingon ko siya. Nagtitigan lang kami. He was looking at me with disappointment in his eyes.

Disappointment. I disappoint him.

"Doctor Saldova, hanap ka na po ni Doctor Sia para sa operasyon." May humintong lalakeng nurse sa tabi namin, hinihingal pa dahil mukhang nagmamadali sa paghahanap sa kaniya.

Wala siyang nagawa. Duty calls. It always comes first. Binigyan niya ako ng isang seryoso ngunit may bakas ng sakit na tingin bago naglakad paalis.

I do know where all his anger and frustration were coming from. From his parents' and siblings' problems, to how I left him, to his brother being jailed due to stealing from his own best friend, to me hiding our child. And surely, he has more problems which I know nothing about.

When he was out of sight, my lips quivered and I broke down. I leaned on the wall and slid down. I allowed myself to take everything in. I allowed myself to be weak... I allowed my heart to feel.

Hindi... hindi pwedeng ganito ako palagi. Dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na ako lang ang gumugulo sa sitwasyon namin.

Umaga at hapon, trabaho ang inaatupag ko. Hindi lang sa kaso ni Cali. Sa ibang clients ko pa. My nights were for my daughter. My midnights were still for reading cases. I wasn't resting. I didn't want to.

"When will I see Dada again, Ma?" Kie asked with a smile before biting her sliced green apple.

"Dada is still busy, love. But you will see him again soon, okay? It's also dangerous to go outside now. You know about Momma's work..." I slowly explained.

"Okay, Momma!" Ngumiti siya sa akin. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Buti na lang marunong na siyang umintindi. She then pointed the bowl of strawberry. "Can I have one, Ma? Is it yummy?" curious niyang tanong.

"Yes, it is! This is called strawberry." Kumuha ako at pinakita sa kaniya iyon. "You know your favorite pink ice cream? This one is the flavor!" Nag-usap pa kami tungkol sa ice cream. Nagtanong pa siya kung bakit pula itong prutas pero iyong ice cream pink. Sinagot ko naman lahat hangga't sa kaya ko.