𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤 | 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐝

entry seventeen.

Everything is dark; for a moment, I think I'm dead.

I cannot see anything above or beneath me. Everything is just dark. There are no shadows, blurred figures or hazed voices. Not even a shining bright light that beckons me forward.

There is only empty space.
An expanse of nothingness.

Maybe God was just a concoction of mankind. Maybe there is truly nothing that precedes death.

I call out into the distance, shouting my name. It bounces and echoes several times before the only noise left is my beating heart and rugged breaths.

I cry again. "Lauren," I turn on my heel, faced with nothing but darkness. "It's me. Lauren," I pace back and forth, mumbling feverishly beneath my breath.

My name is Lauren Hester.
I was eleven when I was taken.
I grew up in Hawkins.
I live opposite the Sinclair's.
My mum is called Theresa.
My dad is called Andrew.
I have a dog named Wesley.
My birthday is on October 31st.

I will get out of here.
I will get out of here.
I will get out of here.

It seems that there is no way out.

I am truly lost.
I am truly alone.

"Lauren," I turn sharply in the direction of a voice. It calls out to me from the distance. I have no way of locating its origin. "Lauren,"

I recognise that voice.
I will always recognise that voice.

"Peter,"

Suddenly, I no longer feel weak. I am no longer burdened by misery or the depth of my own loneliness. A new deep longing burns within my chest.

I will get out of here.
I will get out of here.
I will get out of here.

"Peter," I step forward, before starting to run. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'll face or where I'll end up. But all I know is that I'm done hiding.

I'm tired of gluey porridge, hospital gowns, and rainbow blocks. I'm tired of experiments, deprivation tanks and dead bunnies.

I'm tired of running.
Only to be found again.

This time I will escape.
This time I will get out here.

"Peter," I yell.

His voice grows louder. "Lauren," Peter replies. His voice is desperate, filling my ears. I run harder, swinging my arms back and forth for momentum.

I will get out of here.
I will get out of here.
I will get out of here.

It repeats like clockwork in my mind. I ignore the burning ache in my calves and throat, pushing my body further, beyond its limits.

I need to reach Peter.
I need him.

"Peter," I can feel my legs shaking beneath me. However, I refuse to relent. I keep running, never daring to look back. "Peter, where are you?"

I can't see anything at all. There is nothing but darkness. Yet, Peter's voice acts as a light.

"I'm right here, Lauren. Come and find me,"

Finally, I see it.
I see the light.

I run closer and closer until I'm reduced to crawling. I claw through the darkness, gasping and shuddering for air.

My eyes flicker open and now I'm blinded by white light. I can feel fingers curled across my forearm, and the hem of my hospital gown falling just above my knee. A surgical lamp is positioned above my eyes. Nobody makes an attempt to move it.

I squint, attempting to raise my arm. It is no use. I turn my head, rubbing my cheek against my shoulder. My eyes are firmly pressed shut.

"013," A voice whispers. It's Dr Brenner. A cold palm cups my cheek. The familiar icy sensation of the silver band on his ring finger presses across my cheekbone. His voice is gentle and fatherly. "013. My dear daughter,"

I want to remind him that I'm not his daughter. That I won't ever consider him my father. However, I am consumed by the desire to just be held. To be captured in reality. No matter, how cruel it is.

"I am so deeply sorry," He places a hand on my back, tilting me into a seated position. My lungs burn and I audibly wince with discomfort. However, Dr Brenner neglects my pain.

He withdraws an audio player from his pocket, holding it between his forefinger and thumb.

Dr Brenner still hasn't shifted the surgical lamp. I reach upwards, horrified by the horrible jittering of my fingers as I weakly push the light aside.

"Tell me, my dear," He rewinds the tape, placing his arm around me. "What was this?"

The blurred recording of a beast's snarl echoes through the surgical theatre. Dr Brenner nods encouragingly, ushering me to explain.

"I don't know," It is an honest answer. The only answer I can give. "But- but it was everywhere,"

"What do you mean, 013?" Dr Brenner leans forward.

"I don't know where it came from," I repeat firmly. "But I know it wasn't right. It sounded like- like a monster,"

Dr Brenner's mouth sets into a firm line. "There is no such thing as monsters," His voice is irritated. "There are only people - good and bad,"

"That noise wasn't human," I argue.

"Do not play into childish fantasies," Dr Brenner says. His grip on my forearm tightens. I can feel his fingernails digging into my muscle. "I have raised you to better than this. Smarter than this,"

"Raised me?" I cannot disguise the disgust in my voice any longer. I am consumed with rage. I am done playing this game of hide and seek. I'm done hiding "You kidnapped me,"

I shrug off Dr Brenner's arm forcefully. "You are not my dad. You are awful. You talk about there being only humans - good and bad,"

I cannot distinguish the look behind his eyes. He almost looks pained. However, there is also resignation. As if he's been expecting this.

"I think you are the worst," I say. "I think you are the dregs of humanity. No good person would create this,"

I look around, biting the inside of my cheek to contain tears. I see nothing beyond white tiles, industrial machines and barred windows. It is all I've ever known since I was eleven.

"No good person would make someone else suffer like this," My voice thickens with tears. Years of suffocated words, finally escape my throat. It feels like I can finally breathe clearly.

"013-"

"My hair," I grab his hand and place it on my head. "My identity," I pull his arm down to rest above my heart. "My house. My family. My friends,"

My voice wavers to choke. "Everything," I force him to look at me. "You took everything,"

A/N

- excuse any mistakes. it's late and i honestly cant be asked to go back and edit. if you enjoyed please vote and comment. let me know what you think so far!

- rosa <333