Cassandra
"How would I know where he'd be at? I don't know the man's schedule."
"He's a therapist, idiot. Probably at his office." Danny thumps me on the forehead but I ignore her and continue to scroll on my phone. I was sitting on my bed wrapped in my bathrobe, I had done my hygiene & gotten in the shower but that didn't take my mind off of him. I needed to find him and I needed to do it now. I scroll through his social media, the one he gave me that didn't have anything to do with therapist business, and he was looking so good meanwhile I was a mess.
"Maybe he's better off without me." I mumble seeing how his smile is bright, he looks great, and my loss physically hadn't affected him at all. He looked completely fine.
"What did he say to you that night?"
"Well-"
"Exactly! That doesn't just disappear after 3 months. If what he said was true, and if it's not too late, you coming back home wit' yo man.. and ima' make sure of that, hold on." She pulls out her phone and stands up.
"We can't call the office, that's weird. Why would you wanna book another appointment?"
"Yeah, and this doesn't really seem like an at the office causal type of thing." She nods at this and dials a number in her phone. Putting her pointer finger up at me, she walks off and leaves the room before closing the door after her. I take this time to get myself together, I dress in some simple sweats, a white crop top, and put my locs in a bun. I grab the waist beads on my dresser and slide them on. Either I'm getting smaller, or they're getting bigger. I haven't been able to eat much, I haven't been feeling good since I lost him. Tears swarm around my eyes and I give up on trying to do my makeup.
I sit there staring at myself before I burst into full blown tears. "I want my baby back." I cry to myself, I miss him so much. Not feeling his presence anymore was hard on me. I felt empty without him around me, on me, in me. It hurt to know that he was most likely gone for good. There's nothing I can do about it.
He was the person that I was unknowingly searching for in all those people that I was sleeping with. None of them made me feel the way Roman did, they weren't who I was looking for, that's how I was able to use them for what I wanted so easily. I didn't care about them, and besides my sister I don't care about anyone else but Roman. I know that if I was able to get him back I would do right, I wouldn't do him like how I do these other people, he was all I needed and my dumb ass let him slip away from me.
"I always do this." I cry.
My sister bursts into my room, but she cuts herself off once she sees me crying. "Honey I got-" She frowns and walks over to me, she sits beside me on the small bench underneath my makeup table. She rubs my back and she tells me everything is going to be okay, that I would be just fine. "That's the thing, I'm not. I can't do this without him. I'm not eating right, I'm not sleeping right, I can barely remember shit or function well because my body needs shit that I just can't give it right now. He fucked me up, but it's my fault." I cry wiping tears the dropped, but they never stopped pouring. "He's gone." I mumble to myself.
"No he isn't." What she says catches my attention, I snap my head in her direction and she's smiling at me now. "My federal ass friend—you know the one who stalked her boyfriend for a couple years before he became her boyfriend and stalked him for like 5 months after they broke up before she decided to get help?"
