street fights

not my problem

Tessa's POV

I spent the afternoon with Ponyboy before the train left. I think he was upset I was leaving, but I was ecstatic.

I was gonna go home!

"So... I guess this is it." He said as we walked towards Bucks.

"Don't say it like that. Here, I'll take one of Buck's cars and drive ya home. Don't want you getting caught up in some street fight." I said with a laugh.

"I'll be fine. I'm meeting Johnny just down the road."

"Alright." I mumbled.

He hugged me and I held him tight as I knew this was the last time I was gonna see him.

"Bye, Tessa."

I sighed and just gave him a smile before I went inside.

I looked at the clock. I needed to be on the train by 10:30. I wanted to be early. It was 9:45. I quickly packed all my stuff in my bag and looked around to make sure Dallas wasn't here.

He told me him and Tim were doing something tonight. I was thankful for that. I didn't wanna tell him I was leaving.

Ponyboy kept telling me that I should tell him, but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I couldn't look Dally in the eyes and tell him I wasn't ever gonna see him again.

I walked down the stairs at 10:02. It was a thirty minute walk to the train station; so, I was already a little behind schedule, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world.

I went to open the door and someone stopped me. "Tessa? Whatcha doing?"

I squealed and turned around. "Dallas? What are you doing here? I thought you were with Tim!"

"Yeah. Three hours ago. Where ya going?"

"Uhh..." I mumbled.

"Here, step outside. I can't hear ya."

I sighed as he opened the door.

He looked at me and waited for a response. "I'm going to the Curtis'." I mumbled.

"Why? Did something happen?" He asked.

"I-I just don't wanna stay here anymore. It- uhh... I dunno. It doesn't feel right." I said, stuttering over my own words.

"Oh... alright. I get it. I guess I'll see ya tomorrow. Night, Tessa."

"Good night, Dally." I mumbled.

He turned around to go back inside and I started to walk towards the train station.

I felt so guilty.

All I could hear was Ponyboy's voice telling me to tell him.

"Wait!" I called out just before Dally closed the door. He turned around and stepped closer to me. "I'm..." I took a breath. "I'm not going to the Curtis'. I'm going to New York."

"What?" He asked in shock.

"I-" Dammit, Tessa. Get yourself outta this! "I-I'm just going for a few weeks. Get away from everything down here for a bit." I muttered.

"Did something happen?" He asked.

"No! No, uhh... just the whole greaser and Soc thing right now is eating away at me. I need a break."

"You gonna be ok?"

"Yeah. I'll be alright. Don't worry."

"Alright. Bye, Tessa."

I sighed. "Bye, Dally." I muttered.

I turned around before he could ask any more questions, but he quickly had something to say.

"Wait!" He called out.

"Dal, I really gotta go."

"I-I know, but... shit. I dunno that just didn't sound right." He mumbled.

"Huh?" I asked.

"I... I dunno. Sorry." He muttered. I gave him a look of confusion before turning around. "Oh! I got it. You said 'bye.' I don't think I've ever heard you say that before. You always say 'see ya later' or something."

"W-what do you mean?" I asked.

He sighed. "You aren't coming back, are ya?"

I stood there for a moment. "No. I'm not. But I'm surprised you noticed that. I've never told you that."

"No, but it's been almost eight years and you've never said the words "bye" to me. Tess, why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"

"I-I couldn't! Dallas, don't you get it? I just couldn't. I couldn't look you in the eye and tell you I'm not coming back. I didn't have the guts." I muttered.

"What happened? I thought everything has been fine in the past week! I know you got mad at me after the rumble, but I figured by the end of the night we were good." He muttered.

"Dallas, I can't take it anymore! I cant stand it here! You're scaring me! Dallas, do you know how fucking scary it is to wake up every morning wondering if you're even gonna be alive?" I yelled.

"Teresa, what are you talking about?" He asked. He sounded genuinely confused.

"Dallas, you think I never noticed? You think I never realized all the drugs?"

His eyes widened. "How did you-"

"I've known since we got here! I found them in the back of your bike on day one! I was scared! I found some when I found Sylvia's earring under your fucking pillow! Under the floorboard! I hated you being in the hospital with me, because I was scared you were gonna find more and more! I don't know anything about that shit! I can't take it anymore!"

"Why didn't you say anything? If you've known for years, why did it never come up?"

I started to feel tears in my eyes. "Because, Dally, all I ever wanted was for you to not hate me!" My voice cracked at the end of my sentence. "I just wanted you to be happy and I didn't want to get in the way of it no matter how much I knew I should."

"Tessa..."

"Don't start with me, Dallas. I'm leaving now." I said using the back of my hand to wipe tears off my cheek.

"Tessa, wait! I'll stop! I promise!"

"And how long is that gonna take? Because the first first time, it took almost three years after you met me. And I can't wait that long. I know it's not easy, but I just can't take it."

"I'll throw it all away. Right now."

"I wanna leave. I don't care what you do anymore. It's not my problem."