My Boyfriend Is A Geek ✔️

46: He'd probably end up alone and heartbroken

"You know it," I sallied, winking at Jason, to which he chuckled. And a moment later, he was disappearing into god knows where, leaving me with: "be right back."

Just exaggerating — he went off to get me a drink, while I settled myself on the couch, too tired to continue with dancing. I'd done a little too much of that tonight — not like I was complaining though.

Our school won the basketball game against one of our biggest rivals tonight, and everyone was in high spirits. Seth Williams' house was packed to say the least; almost everyone was here — including him.

I found myself stealing glances at the couple ahead of me, dancing to the upbeat song which was blasting through the speakers, beaming all the while.

They seem happy. Good for them.

Although, I doubted things were looking as good for me, seeing as he caught my stare just then. 

Uh oh.

His features were soon perking up with a grin, which I returned with a tight-lipped smile of my own before turning away so fast, it was a miracle my neck didn't snap. However, it wasn't fast enough to miss the look of confusion that crossed his face.

And honestly, he wasn't the only confused one here.

Since my revelation of a week ago — you know, the one about how I may or may not have been going down the Jealous Jane road. So, yeah, since then, many things didn't make sense to me anymore.

Like, why would I even be jealous in the first place? And what did that jealousy mean? It didn't help that Shay's jealousy over Veronica was because of her then love for Mike.

So, then I loved Hawk? Ok, that was just crazy. I loved Jason — all the signs were there that I did.

But then, maybe I did love Hawk — as a friend. And what I was concluding to be jealousy, might just be a case of over familiarity.

I had grown so used to him during all that time we spent together. Besides, I'd come to rely too much on him, seeing as he'd proven to be someone I could turn to, even in the shittiest of times.

So, I guess I just got so used to Hawk being mostly with me, that seeing him with Ria was just...let's just say it was a little hard to get used to.

But thankfully, since identifying the problem, I'd been taking steps towards eradicating it.

Ria might have said a lot of dumb stuff in her possessive crazed girlfriend state, but she was right about one thing: I needed to distance myself from Hawk.

It was the only way I could get over this over familiarity situation. Simply put, the more time I spent away from Hawk, the more accustomed I'd be to the current state of things. And by that, I meant his relationship with his Pizza Ria. 

So, yeah, I'd been working on doing that all week. Hence, 'hellos' were from far away, smiles were kept as brief as possible, laughs were practically non-existent. Well, because we'd have to laugh over something, and fun fact — we'd have to be conversing to do that. I'd given zero room for conversation.

If Hawk was going right, then I was going left, if he was with Kent, then I was with the girls, if he was with the girls, then I was with Kent. When we did end up in the same place, my words were lesser than the dialogue in an opera, after which I'd make some stupid excuse and leave.

And so far, the results have been...well, let's just say it's still under review.

Now, however, my attention was fixed on the person who plopped beside me, slightly pushing the couple who were on the verge of making babies on the couch.