THIRTEEN • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 4: Loop Two, II

Instead, you said, "All will be alright in time."

You hoped you could believe it too.

The day of the expedition came. It started at sundown, just as it had before because that was when the Titans would be immobile. You sat at the rear guard while Eren was at the center surrounded by the original Squad Levi, who had not died since the Female Titan trap never happened.

It was strange to be gearing up for the return to Shiganshina so early. You could somewhat remember that on the night before the expedition in Loop One, the Scouts spent a rowdy evening eating meat.

A huge chain of events in your life had been taken out, just like that.

It reminded you just how powerful and how dangerous it was for you to be messing with the timeline.

The gates of the wall rose as the Scouts charged into the outside world. Eren and the rest of the 104th were starry-eyed as they took in their first glimpse of Wall Maria in five years. It was odd to think that you used to live a life where Walls and Titans no longer existed.

The journey was more difficult than the first return to Shiganshina. Every now and then you kept hearing word that entire squads had been overpowered by the sheer number of Titans and they had been eaten.

Another ripple of guilt ran through your skin. If you had let Eren discover what Reiner and Bertholdt's true motives were, he would have been able to control Titans in that moment where his fist met Dina Jaeger's Titan. Instead, he and everyone else were mostly in the dark regarding his abilities.

Those Scouts were going to die either way.

You mentally battled with yourself.

The reason they died in the first loop was so that Eren could learn to control his Titan. You prevented him from doing that.

Eventually, the sun set and the Titans went immobile. The Scouts were walking the path through the forest to Shiganshina. Cloaked in darkness, you forced your way through the formation to keep an eye on Eren.

Unfortunately, he was quick to spot you and beckoned you over. Your hoods were over your faces as you spoke in hushed tones, as to not alert the rest of Squad Levi that you had gone against orders and left your assigned position.

"I can't believe we're back in Wall Maria," he began. "This place is full of Titans. I—those guys that died, we can't let their sacrifice be for nothing."

Eren looked extremely distressed about the deaths. Without the life experience that horrible situations caused him, he was still an emotional, hotheaded boy. Although you didn't really mind what kind of attitude he had (you had the patience as long as he was alive), it had no place in the battlefield.

You tried to convince yourself that this was fine. You were simply sparing Eren extra trauma. You couldn't bear to watch him suffer at a young age again, not after everything you've seen him do as an adult.

You noticed that Eren's hand, which was holding a lantern, was shaking. Your fingers brushed his, just slightly, enough until your pinky fingers were intertwined.

"Scared?" you asked.

Eren nodded tersely. "There was so much death today. Why, aren't you?"

"I am," you said honestly. "But I have a feeling that we're going to be fine."

He didn't look convinced. "It's weird that we're heading to Shiganshina so early."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just... I feel like something is missing. I feel like... something should have happened in-between. Before we go to my basement. It's like we missed out on some kind of experience. Like I need to train more."