Love & Conditions (New York Billionaires Book 2)

25| Friends

"Why is that?" I asked softly, one of my hands absentmindedly slipping under her pants and tracing circles on her leg. 

"It's overwhelming. I can't be here without thinking of the past," she said, glancing at my hands on her legs. "It makes me miss you even when I know I shouldn't. What happened... it was for good, wasn't it?" She looked at me. "Everything happens for a reason." 

And what if we parted ways only to come back to each other? 

I couldn't ask the question out loud when I saw her face, when I saw the emotions swirling in her gaze. A pang of regret spread and burst through my chest. Maybe I shouldn't have let her walk away. "Everything happens for a reason," I agreed with a nod, staring back at her. 

"You should be prepared for the wedding," she said, changing subjects. "My family might drive you insane." 

"I think I can handle it. I've handled you just fine." 

"If you thought I was a handful, you're mistaken," she chuckled dryly. 

I couldn't keep the questions to myself. "Do you ever regret leaving me, Jules?" 

She hummed in thought and then nodded lightly. "Sometimes. I won't lie to you, Christian, I wish I never had to leave. But if I could go back, I would do it again. You lied to me." 

"To protect you," I huffed in frustration. "Being with me could have ruined you." 

"Maybe. But I think that was for me to decide. It should have been my choice if that was a risk I was willing to take. You just took that choice away from me." She pulled her legs down and mumbled, "And you're not even sorry," before standing up. 

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down beside me. 

She turned to me expectantly. 

"Maybe I am sorry. Maybe I just don't admit it to you." 

"I don't even think you admit it to yourself. You've never said you were sorry." 

Leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees, I got a proper look at her face, my eyes scanning over every inch of it. "Would it change anything if I did?" 

"Maybe not. But it would count for something that you tried," she replied with a small shrug, staring back at me. "What? You think it doesn't bother me?" she shrugged. "You think I wasn't in agony without you? You don't think it was killing me too? You don't think I missed you?" 

"You missed me?" 

She laughed dryly before lying back down, forcing her legs into my lap. "I still miss you sometimes." She watched me. "Then I remember what you did. And I remember how it broke me. And I remember how you didn't come back for me. You didn't fight for me, Christian." 

"Because I felt like you deserved better than me." 

"If you really wanted me, you would have been better." She turned to stare at the ceiling instead. "You wouldn't have left me in the dark for so long." 

"It's not like I wanted to." 

A sarcastic laugh bubbled out of her as she sat back up, tugging at my shirt to get me to look at her. "You can't even admit it, can you? You regret what you did."