Aralas Oneshots

Guilt

"Come on, we need to find him", Éowyn now said and they went after Legolas, who had disappeared into his room, as he always would. 

---

Legolas knew that they'd come after him. They always did. So he'd have to be quick. Without flinching at the pain, he painted a flower on his arm with the knife. The blood trickled out of the wound in a constant flow and he thought: at least the blood still did what it was supposed to do. He didn't think a flower was enough however, so he started painting a ship, but his head spun strangely and the sail became kind of crooked. It didn't really look like a ship, because he couldn't make out the lines anymore. As he looked at his arm, it was drenched red in blood, but he only stared at it. 

It was nothing. Nothing against what he had done. And then he fainted.

---

Carefully Éowyn opened the door to Legolas' room and peeked inside. But the peeking was succeded by a cry of horror and she slammed the door open, completely horrified by the sight that met her. 

"Get Ioreth!! No, we need more help! Give me that towel!!"

Éowyn was panicking. The elf had lost a huge amount of blood already, and she was shocked, that he had been able to do that this short span of time it took for them to get here. Faramir handed her the towel, then called out into the corridor to summon more healers from the others rooms. In the maintime, Éowyn had bandaged Legolas' arm tightly and was trying to stop the blood.

As Ioreth, an elderly lady, and two other healers arrived, they immediately jumped into action to save Legolas. They gave him herbs, that would regenerate his bloodflow and he also got fed a liquid that was mostly sugar, to make him wake up again. It was dangerous, if he was unconscious for too long.

Then they put him on the bed and bandaged the wounds again. Tears filled Éowyns eyes, as she noticed the patterns the elf had drawn. This couldn't go on. They'd have to change something.

"Where did he get the knife from?", Faramir asked with a frown. Éowyn could sense he was angry. 

"He must've hid it somewhere", she answered with a weak voice, feeling guilty about having something like that slipped through her control. "Faramir, you need to confront him. This can't go on. We'll do it your way."

He nodded. Maybe the reality would bring Legolas back to sanity.

---

When he woke up, he found Faramir sitting on the edge of his bed. It was quiet in the room, and he wondered, why Éowyn wasn't there. Usually, it would be her to care for him, as Faramir couldn't bear him. And he couldn't bear Faramir. He reminded him of... He closed his eyes again and desperately wanted the man to go away.

"Legolas, wake up!", Faramir commanded. "If not, I will make you wake up."

Not good. The man was angry with him. Éowyn was always concerned and pitied him and he couldn't bear it, but Faramir was angry, and something told him, that if he didn't do what he said, the latter one would make his threat come true. So he opened his eyes again, giving Faramir a sour look.

"Go away", he told him.

"No, I will not go away. You will listen to me!", the man said with an angry voice. "Look at your arm!"

The elf did and found it wrapped in a bandage. Hadn't anyone seen the beautiful flower? Or the boat? Apparently they didn't appreciate it.

"You have to stop, Legolas", the man went on. "You are hurting yourself and everyone around you, as you might see in my face. That was you. And now listen carefully, and don't try to hide from the truth. Aragorn is dead."

The elf cried out in pain, but Faramir didn't let him get into a fit again. 

"Stop the crying, elf, it doesn't help. He is dead. But you know what? It wasn't your fault, even though that is apparently what you think and why you are behaving like you do. i'll tell you how it happened, right? You were fighting side by side, and then a huge orc attacked Aragorn. You wanted to kill it and save him, but as you shot your arrow, Aragorn jumped up, wanting to cut the orc's head of with his sword, and the arrow hit him in the chest. Don't you see it? You wanted to save him. Save him! Not kill him. But sometimes you cannot control the course of actions, and you have to see the truth. Let go of the guilt, Legolas, it is eating you up and consuming you. It wasn't your fault! Let the guilt go, admit the truth!"

But the truth hurt too much to think about. Dead.

"Dead", he said in a monotone voice.

Then he cried out:

"Dead!!"

And then he cried, and cried, and cried. Éowyn entered the room a few hours later, and he was still crying, but the weight on his chest had diminished, and left only a hole of sorrow. Aragorn was dead, and he would never see him again. And it was his f... No, it wasn't his fault. He wanted to save him. Make him live.

Which was what he decided to do. Make him live. In memory. And to do so, he had to start living again. To make Aragorn live again, he had to start living again. 

I'm so sorry for putting you through this!! I hope I did no damage! And if anyone of you feels the need to talk, I'm here! Love you all guys, take care of yourselves!!